A Week of Birthdays

So, I suck at blogging these days.

 But now we have a Derek who had a birthday and Henry had his FIRST every friend party. Henry has lived in 9 different houses in his 8 years. He's never had the chance to have a friend party. Last year we tried, but yeah a blizzard killed it. So, this year, we went hog wild and had a 39 Clues Birthday party that included clue-hunting school, laser beam evasion, code breaking, clue-hunting and ice cream cake. Oh and presents. Yes. My picture taking was hindered by controlling the chaos wrought by 21 little kids.

FUN though. VERY fun. Here are the clue-hunters decoding:


I was SHOCKED at how excited they were about everything. My boys had a blast.

And Derek graciously gave up his birthday for the party so we celebrated the next day. 35 is nothing to sniff at. I am sucking SO BAD at taking pictures lately, but here he is blowing out his candles on his pecan pie.



Now we are roaring toward the holidays, with an Ezra birthday tucked right in. It's a happy time here on the hill. Life is sweet.

For a nice throwback, here is Derek and Henry on his birthday 8 years ago, with a week old baby Henry:


Aw....so cute.

The Best Medicine (Lessons from my Marriage, part 4)

In honor of our Ten Year Anniversary this month, I'm writing out lessons I've learned from being married to my man. 

I don't think I'm an expert on anything really (except maybe how to nurse a baby while chasing a two year old and never even breaking the baby's latch), but I do think that Derek and I have something pretty great. While much of our relationship is due to just being extremely compatible, our life is not perfect, we are not perfect, and I've had to learn some pretty hard lessons in my ten years thus far as a wife. 



(Our photographer double booked himself and so we had a fake cake cutting and a fake bouquet throwing before the reception. It was a very weird day.)

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Khalil Gibran

Derek and I laugh a lot with each other. We always have. It's a vital part of relationship. We make each other laugh, we like to joke and kid around. It's one of the things I value deeply. It might sound strange to say I value our joking around, but I do.

I can't imagine a life where we weren't laughing with each other. I wouldn't want a life without it. Finding joy and humor in things together helps us stay close. Some of my favorite memories in our marriage are of the two of us laughing at... who knows what? I just remember the laughter.

We laugh. We laugh to cope, to connect, to love, to live. We laugh.

And we're happy, even when it's hard.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

Bill Cosby

The Thumper Rule (Lessons I've Learned From My Marriage)

In honor of our Ten Year Anniversary next month, I'm writing out lessons I've learned from being married to my man. 

I don't think I'm an expert on anything really (except maybe how to nurse a baby while chasing a two year old and never even breaking the baby's latch), but I do think that Derek and I have something pretty great. While much of our relationship is due to just being extremely compatible, our life is not perfect, we are not perfect, and I've had to learn some pretty hard lessons in my ten years thus far as a wife. 

I learned today's lesson when Derek and I were engaged, and continue to relearn it all the time. 

As a kid we had what was called "The Thumper Rule" which if you've ever seen Bambi, you know is simply: 

Source

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." 

As kids we pretty shamelessly violated this rule, something that frustrated my father endlessly. 

And it is just about the best piece of marriage advice there is. 

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Chances are, that rude thing I think about saying about the way my spouse puts dishes in the dishwasher is unnecessary.

 The dishes are getting done, right? 

For a scriptural reference: 

Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger" (KJV) 

In my life, the wrath I'm turning away does not apply to Derek. (Derek like NEVER gets mad at me.) The wrath is my own. If I'm inclined to snap, or be rude, forcing myself to use soft, kind words, even if I DON'T feel like it, makes a world of difference in what I am feeling. It literally changes my heart.

And what if your spouse is being a poo?

The scripture still applies. It can be incredibly difficult to remain calm and kind when your partner is NOT extending you the same courtesy.

When we practice the art of speaking kindly, of being more gentle with our words, those we love will notice. And they will be more inclined to do this as well.

I guess I have learned that if I want to be around Derek for pretty much EVER, then I need to show him that in the way I talk to him. Years ago, when were were engaged, Derek asked me "Are you going to be a wife who yells?"

I can't even remember what had been happening prior to that question, but I remember saying, "No! Of course not!" and so, ten years later, I'm trying to live up to that agreement.

There is a pretty popular Aristole quote going around that says, 

"Be kind for everyone is fighting a harder battle." 

I know my spouse's battle. I know he needs kindness and a soft answer.

We all do!

A Wee Announcement

No. I am not pregnant.

Just thought I'd clear that up firstly.

Actual Announcement: We're MOVING.

BWAHAHAH. Just kidding. I'm never moving ever again.

Ever.

No, this announcement is in direct relation to the day to be CELEBRATED one month from today.

Look at your calendar. What is ONE MONTH FROM TODAY?

You're probably saying to yourself, "Morgan, I have no idea what is one month from today!"

Well, I'll tell ya.

One month from today is Derek and my 10th wedding anniversary.

That's right! A decade ago!

(This picture is SO indicative of our life: Me being ridiculous, and Derek just kind of like, "Okay...?" 

And so, in honor of my husband and our super awesome life together, I'll be doing a little online marriage series. It'll just be some things I've learned over the years. I'm not the expert in the family, but maybe I can convince the good Doctor to drop by here at some point too. *wink wink*.

So, anyway, starting this Friday, I'll be hitting up this space with marriage talk each Friday for the whole month. It'll be five Fridays in all.

I'm excited about it, and I think it's going to be really great. So, stayed tuned.

Final, super fun tidbit: Also, if you have a question about marriage for Derek, you can email me and I promise to forward it on to him. MAYBE he'll answer it right here. morganhagey@gmail dot com

Hurray!!

Jet-Setting Morgan

WOW! Too much time has passed. I'm sorry about that. I've been running all around the country like a crazy person the last two weeks.

And it has been a BLAST!

Early last week we headed to Mystic Connecticut, and it was beautiful. We ran and played and enjoyed the first really REALLY warm day we'd had all year. It was fabulous.


Then Meem and I boarded a flight (two actually) for the great state of Utah. It was my littlest brother's birthday, and he's leaving for TWO WHOLE YEARS on his mission in a couple of weeks. So it was a sibling reunion. My kind, sweet, magnanimous husband stayed home with the boys.

They didn't miss me in the slightest. No, I'm not kidding. Daddy is WAY more fun than Mom. This I already knew.

I shall simply have to go away more often.

It was the first time ever in the history of my parenting that I went away (other than the overnight births, but that was work and I don't count it).

I got to see Stacy and crew, which was balm to my lonely soul. Oh how I love her and her family.
*sniff*



It was so much fun to be with my family. I have missed them terribly since leaving in January. We stayed up late and laughed until we cried.

I love them. So much. (Not enough to take any pictures, but you know... I was busy!)


And then I came home, and to ease the sting of leaving behind my family, my own sweet boys were waiting for me, with signs they'd colored themselves.

Then I couldn't believe I'd been happy all weekend without them.

Motherhood is a strange disease.

To keep life interesting, my dearest of friends, Maren and her brood of four boys that match mine quite nicely came to stay.


We chased boys, slapped bandaids on the MULTIPLE bloody injuries (BOYS!) and sneaked brownies when the kids weren't looking.

It was very very good.

The two (TWO) toilets that were clogged were remedied by a late evening trip to Walmart for a plunger (who knew I didn't have one??) and my superhero husband.

Derek has been running around nonstop and has to work all weekend.

Poor man is going to need his own weekend away pretty soon.

Work Work Work...

I am teaching my children to work.
 
In case you were wondering, it *might* prove to be more work than it is worth.

They yell about it.

They cry about it.

They ultimately do it.

It definitely hurts me more than it hurts them.

Some of them think it's still fun to help Mama.

The other half think I'm trying to kill them.

But so help me, they are learning. They will be hardworkers, even if it freaking kills me.

In other news, we had Derek's birthday on Friday, and Saturday and Sunday. For a guy who is alone more tha he's not, three birthdays seemed neccessary. We are glad to have him home for the week. We are thankful. Very thankful.

ALIVE!

 Hello! 

We are alive. Derek, after four grueling days made it to New Hampshire. 

New Hampshire is far.

All five children are clean and relatively happy, other than missing Daddy of course.

Yesterday, my mom came to church with us. Five kids is exhausting at church, rather reminiscent of a circus.



See? Exhausting!

The house is in shambles but that is true regardless of whether Derek is here or not. These little folks are determined destroyers. We clean it up every day, and I just accept it'll never be neat. I'm happier that way.

Derek starts today, actually thanks to a 2 hour time difference, he already has started.

He begins the difficult task of find us a place to live, tomorrow. Poor guy.

Here, we are continuing onward and upward.

We also continue to be grateful for Skype.

The New Normal

Our new normal began today.


(The boys making ninja costumes for their teddy bears. I do not give them these ideas. I merely supply them with what they need!) 

It totally sucks.

No, really. A lot.



(More ninja outfits.)

Derek departed in the darkness of predawn (before the boys got up, which would have made leaving even more hideous for him...) and I spent all day being horribly lonely.


(Derek took the car seats out of the Corrolla to make room for luggage, Ezra spent a solid hour buckling himself in and then making me let him out again.) 

Which is ridiculous because it's not like I've never been away from my spouse before.



(This baby chatted with her Daddy on Skype tonight. She was GLUED to his face on the screen the whole time. His voice was thrilling for her. She's a baby genius.)

But, knowing it'll be a good long while between now and the next time I see him... just made for a very lonely day.

His day, driving across I-80 was worse. It takes four days to drive from here to New Hampshire.

FOUR DAYS.

Poor guy.

But alas, we pull ourselves up by our boot straps and onward we go.

We've done the separation thing before. The longest we've gone (married) was four weeks. It almost killed us both. This time, he'll be home in three but then gone again, and so on for who knows how long.

At least we have Skype.

And so, tomorrow, I'll smile. I'll take care of the kidlets, and I'll pray, ceaselessly that my other half, my soul mate in this life and the next gets his butt to Gary Indiana (the second stop on his journey) safely.

Cuz I married him for a reason. I like him a lot. I'd like him to get there in one piece.

Somewhere in this new normal, Mama has to figure out when to shower...

Nine Years

On this, our 9th anniversary of our wedding day, I give you:

Derek is cute, a list. 

He:

ohhs and ahhs over baby clothes just to be nice to me.
can't lie. He tries, and fails.
is a great daddy, who loves his boys.
wants to spend all his time with me and the kids.
will get me french fries whenever I want them.
is a bit of a germaphobe. It's cute. Weird, I know.
finds great bliss in discussing strange marital topics with me. (It's his job!)
is perfectly happy to listen to me discuss strange birth/baby/mothering topics.
does the dishes after dinner.
helps me whenever I ask.
brings me ice cream frequently.
takes my boys on dates.
doesn't mind when I spend money on silly things like fabric. doesn't even bat an eye when I say, "I gotta go to the fabric store."
works super hard for our family (hello, FOUR JOBS!) .
finished the DAMN DISSERTATION! GO DEREK!
is no longer a student (see above) *he's been a student the entire decade I've known him!*
is smart.
fixes stuff, a lot of stuff! He's pretty good at it.
accepts "Honey-do" lists without complaint.
doesn't like to be hot.
walks the dog when I'm too tired.
changes poopy bums.
some mornings,w hen he doesn't have to work,  drags himself out of bed before me, just so I can sleep,
carries babies.
listens to me.
plays a mean game of Scabble, Words with Friends, etc.
is good at sports, but doesn't make me watch them on TV 24/7.
talks about sports though, and I pretend to understand.
brings me Diet Coke more often than I need, but as much as I want.
buys books, then says, "I bought a book!"
likes to watch Hulu with me after the kids are in bed.
isn't a remote hog. We argue over who has to hold it!
opens my water bottles for me. (MY HANDS DON'T WORK!)
doesn't get frustrated when he has to dig through piles of clean laundry to find his socks.

He's a keeper, that man of mine.

Happy Anniversary, Love!

Derek Hacked Morgan's Account for Her Birthday

Yup that is right folks, this year for Morgan's birthday I (Derek) am hacking her blogger account and posting this entry just because I love her.

Now Morgan is not some normal run-of-the-mill person (but you all know that), she is the most amazing person I have ever met. No, really, she is. She denies it but I have been in love with her (or infatuated with her depending on how we are defining the feeling) since the first time I met her. So I must bring you all the way back to 2001, yup just about 1 decade ago.

The Story of Derek Meeting Morgan for the First Time:

The time: the beginning of November in 2001.
The place: the Nelke Theater at BYU
The setting: very dark, the lights were turned out

You see I could barely see anything because I was the Assistant Stage Manager for a play that was taking place in the Margetts Theater that backs right up to the Nelke Theater space. The play was about to start when we turned all the lights out to the Nelke Theater and there were a few people making noises or saying who turned the lights out, or something of that sort. So as the Assistant Stage Manager backstage was my duty so I go to find out who it was and to tell them to be quiet, or shut up, or get the heck out of there, because no one should be back there, after all we were using the Nelke as part of our backstage. So I go into the Nelke Theater and was immediately accosted by some woman who at this point I did not know a name for with a witty tongue and sparky (or sparkly dependent on the point of view) personality. She started to tell me I could not do this turning off the lights thing, yada yada yada... I was the Assistant Stage Manager for the play that was taking place so I said, yes I can and will turn out the lights and they needed to leave, she gave me this attitude that turns me on, yeah I like sass and this woman had tons of it (never mind she was only 18 years old). To this day she sasses me on a regular basis and is she still H-O-T when she does it.

This was my introduction to Morgan's World.

I did not meet this gorgeous woman again until she and I were in the same directing class the next semester. In our first class we were put into groups, but her group had too many guys and not enough gals so they needed to trade a guy for a gal (one of Morgan's best friends), she threw me under the bus and tossed me to the other group without a second thought. Yeah, I thought she was beautiful and wanted to be in her group, but she didn't have a second thought about throwing me away. Yup, I had the Morgan-on-the-mind thing going on and would often catch myself looking over at her during this directing class.

One day I was shooting a film for this class in the Harris Fine Arts Center when I noticed this woman from a small distance who had a really nice body, and as I looked at her from behind, I wondered who this person was (yeah I did notice her body, I was a single guy not really attached to any one). This woman turned around and yup it was this gorgeous woman again, I was ENAMORED.

Then there is the story of our first date (I may have been enamored but she was still too beautiful for me to even talk to) and the struggle for me to get a second one, but those are for a different day.

I have been in love/infatuated with Morgan since the first moment I met her in that dark theater almost 1 decade ago. So on her birthday I wanted the whole world (or at least those who read her blog) to know she is still the most amazing, gorgeous, and witty woman I have ever met and I still catch myself staring at her in wonderment that she is my wife, mother to our four sons (so far), and as of the past couple months boss at our new business. I could never think of any one that would be a better wife, mother, or boss and she does everything so well, I am grateful to know/love her.

So my love Morgan one of your birthday presents from me on your birthday is my hacking your blogger account and posting to your blog. I love you.

What Eight Years Can Do

From June 2011

Eight years can produce: 

Eight Moves

Four Children

12 Jobs

2 Careers

2 Businesses

3 Cars

1 Scooter

2 Cats

1 Dog

Countless meals

Infinite loads of laundry

Lots of kisses

From June 2011

Quite the difference, eh? I'm not sure what I thought we'd be doing all those years ago. I knew I was thrilled to be married *finally* to my man, but could I have wagered we'd be here? Now? No. 

Yet, I'm so very grateful to be here, now, with Derek. Perhaps "soul mates" is a myth. So maybe people aren't often "destined" to be together, but through the past years, we've become soul mates. Sharing the years together has brought closer to our goal of "one." Many things have challenged us as people and us a unit, but we never give up. We never quit. We make just the very best of teams. 

I'm so very thankful for my marriage; for the chance to walk this life with this man, these days, this now. I'm so grateful to know that he loves me and cares for me, and automatically considers me in all things. He misses me when we're apart, we're happiest together. 

We're us. 

Aint love grand? 

Happy Anniversary, Baby! You're my favorite, now and forever. 

Where the Leap Takes Us

And here we are.

As of today, we are officially owners of our very own LLC. And this very cute desk that we're redoing to be housed in our very own LLC.

From June 2011

Let me tell you, starting a business is an interesting endeavor; from driving all over Hell and half of Georgia for random errands I didn't know I needed to, to meeting random people and plunking down sums of money for all sorts of things, to applying for things I didn't know I had to apply for!

And being named Business Manager, well, let me tell you, in my one week of employment, I can assure you, it's not a cake-walk.

Plenty of Doubting Thomases have emerged much to our surprise. I didn't know friends had such opinions on the matter, but they do. To them, I have been forced to smile through gritted teeth.

But most of our friends and family have been supportive and happy for us. Their love has been a strength to of us.

We're ready. We're terrified. Let me tell you, after years and years of nomadic moving for school and work, it feels eerie to take our fates and our future into our own hands. It's sort of almost against nature to buck the system and say, "We'll pass on full-time employment, benefits and a 401k... we'd rather do this ourselves." Yes, strange and a little wrong.

And so very right at the same time. As I mentioned, we've always known this day would come. We've dreamed up our office more times than we can count, and so now we leap. Goodness, it's scary to imagine our own lives in front of us now. We don't know quite how things are going to go. How could we?

Perhaps we'll be destitute and jobless soon, or it'll all work out nicely. In the meantime, we're blessed to have plenty of part-time employ (by way of three jobs!!!) to keep the bills paid.

Oh so very blessed indeed.

And so, we shall see the places we go.

Oh, the places we'll go.

"The Time Has Come" the Walrus said...

From June 2011

How can it be time already?

For years, years and years, we've discussed it in the nebulous "someday" terms. We've said, "When the time comes, we'll do it."

And now, here we are.

My first inclination is to dig my heels and refuse. Really. That's what I feel like doing.

And as I try to dig in, to ignore what is right in front of us, I feel myself being carried along, no dragging allowed. Placed here. It wouldn't be overly-dramatic to declare God, Himself, seems to have designed it thus.

Right at the edge. Unknown.

Here I stand, staring at the vast space in front of me. Scared.

I look down to see my hand is not empty. Instead, in it resides the hand of the man I promised to love for always.

He looks even more nervous than I do.

He has even more to lose than I do.

"It's time," I say, trying to sound brave. I bounce on the balls of my feet, ready to just get it over with already.

"It is," he agrees, then falters. "It's happening too fast."

"No," I counter. "All is as it should be."

He grips my hand tighter. We're in this together. Always together. We bend our knees, to prepare for the free-fall. "1,2,3!" We push off.

It's time to leap.

I am the Best Wife EVER!

Just in case you were wondering.

So, today, in a snow storm we were out and about looking for a very specific something: Tart Cherry Juice to be exact. It was 100% necessary otherwise I wouldn't be going out in a snow storm.

Unfortunately, nowhere in our entire city seemed to carry it. So, we headed to a neighboring town and FINALLY found it. By then the children were sick to death of being in the car and begging for some freedom. And look-y there, a McDonald's with a play place. We *might* have spent two hours there, waiting out the storm.

About an hour into our little visit, I realized that Oliver was in cloth diaper, and had been for about three hours. This is severely pushing the capabilities of a cloth diaper. I didn't HAVE any other diapers with me. (I wasn't planning on being gone all freaking morning!)

I had Ez in the sling, so I just instructed Derek to check and see HOW wet he was. There was a Wal-mart right across the street. If he was soaked I would simply send Derek over to grab a small pack of disposables. NO BIG DEAL.

Well, Derek wasn't really sure the best way to discreetly see HOW wet a cloth diaper is. Truthfully, it is usually I who checks and instructs if a change is warranted. But I didn't feel like bending over. Ezra was dead asleep in the sling, and Derek was right there, ready to be helpful.

"Just stick a finger in the BACK of his diaper. If it's wet that means the whole diaper is soaked and he needs a change. If it's dry, then he can make it home," I command.

Derek, being the ever fantastic husband, did exactly as I instructed.

And quickly, a look of utter horror washed over his face.

"Oh, oops. Is he poopy? I forgot about that possibility!" I said nonchalantly.

And indeed, proof of the state of Oliver's diaper on Derek's fingers. Yes, plural. Like I said, Oops. Neither one of us had entertained a poopy possibility.

I had sent my poor husband on a suicide mission.

I am the best wife EVER! And Derek went and washed his hands and went off to the Walmart across the street. He bought a LARGE box of disposable diapers to store in the car.

I should have just done that in the first place. Or maybe actually BRING a diaper along with me.

Man, I am awesome.

A Squirrel in the Dryer

Today, a load of laundry took 6 hours to dry. I am SO not kidding.

RIDICULOUS. I need to do 2-3 loads a DAY to stay up on things people. A DAY! So when my first and only load dries and dries and dries and never really gets dry, it's time to investigate.

Ultimately, with Derek (and Helper Henry) going under the deck, we concluded that a squirrel had moved in and clogged everything up. It was the only logical conclusion. The lint trap was clean, the tubes were all unclogged, etc. Squirrel was the ONLY thing left.

So, my brave, intrepid husband took the back off the dryer and started looking for Squeaky the Squirrel.

To our surprise, we found NO squirrels.

I know, right?

Sadder still, is the fact that we were downright surprised that there was NOT a squirrel in our dryer. Why else was everything SO FREAKING WET still?

Have I mentioned that our house is old and therefore creaky and like, NOTHING works right, EVER?

Anyway, no squirrel.

Bummer.

Spencer wanted to keep him as a pet.

It turned out to be nothing but a wicked bad lint-trap design (seriously, RIDICULOUS) combined with old ducting equaled insane amounts of lint-cloggage.

And now the cloth diapers are drying, and if, after 70 minutes they are not dry, I'm buying a new dryer. Tomorrow. I will go someplace and plunk down some money and make them give me a new dryer. Someplace where they haul away the old one. Yes, this is a good plan.

Tomorrow.

I am not joking.

A Winter's Tale

This morning, I danced into the kitchen to knead my bread when I saw that it was SNOWING. Huge fluffy flakes. The boys immediately asked to play outside, and I of course obliged! Out they went, Ezra slept, and I kneaded in peace. Thump, thump, thump. It was BEAUTIFUL outside and in. They played happily outside in the white stuff until lunch.

***

Wait. Did you believe ANY of that? It's like that game, 2 Truths and a Lie, except I told WAY more lies than truths.

It DID snow this morning, I DID need to knead and the boys DID play outside.

And now, the REST of the story.

So, Derek had a meeting on the phone this morning. (The trade-off of a husband who is home most of the time is a husband who works from home most of the time.) So, I figured shuttling the kids outside during the meeting (it was a short one) would be perfect. The snow WAS lovely, Ezra WAS asleep and the boys WANTED to play outside.

It took me ten minutes to dress all three boys appropriately for the weather. It included Ez waking up screaming (a rare thing, really) and Oliver having a melt-down because there was "POOPPOOPPOOP!" on his boot. Indeed there was poop, but who's fault is that? We can either blame the dog, or the child for stepping in it.

Ez was screaming and Oliver was crying and Spencer kept saying, "I'm so chunky!" because of all his layers... it was a wee bit crazed. But I continued, stalwart. I double-mittened Oliver, and made sure all of Henry's particulars were in order, and out they went!

Total time to get them ready for outdoor play: 10 minutes. 

Ezra was still SUPER unhappy with me. So I cajoled him into quiet and put him on my bed.

NOW for the kneading! I sunk my hands into the dough, and saw Oliver, standing outside the door, alternately licking dirt off the window (THAT DOG, I SWEAR!) and crying because he'd gotten snow on his double-mittened paws. Oliver HATES winter. Didja know? My little Vegas baby is not a fan of the cold, or the wet. Give him a warm summer day and he's happy. Winter is the DEVIL!

I heard Ezra starting to complain from my room.

My hands were covered in sticky flour.

 I slid the door open just inches. "Baby, go play with Henry! YAY! It's SNOWING! It's SO SO SO FUN!"

"NO!!! Snow! Cold!" cried my third-born baby.

I got a wee bit more firm then. "Oliver. Go play." And the door shut with a snap.

Ezra was way-for-so-p-o-ed at me now.

Oliver was STILL licking/crying.

I accessed my situation, and prioritized.

The bread dough is patient. It can wait.


The baby, who is now wailing, can not.

Hands were washed, baby was cuddled, children needed to use the facilities and so ALL came in the house, Derek's meeting ended, children needed new clothes (yes, they went out in their winter gear with their jammies underneath, so what?) and baby needed food.

The total amount of outside play: 11 minutes.

Derek dressed and changed children, I nursed Ezra, and Oliver ate crackers. In my bed.

Total time of undoing outside play: 9 minutes

So, while it was not picturesque, I did laugh quite a bit because really, what ELSE am I gonna do?

Oh, and I did get the bread dough kneaded eventually.

Call it a Miracle.

So, today, I accomplished something I thought to be impossible.

I took ALL FOUR CHILDREN OUT BY MYSELF. Lest you think I'm completely insane, I ONLY did it because I had to. I had no choice, see? Derek had an incredibly important meeting at the house via Skype, and so it was either 1. Stay at home, and try valiantly to keep four children quiet for two hours starting at 7:45 am or 2. get the heck outta dodge. So, dodge we did.

I also managed to get ALL FOUR CHILDREN plus myself dressed and out the door ON TIME. (We will not be discussing whether or not I showered... ahem...)

Then, since the library doesn't open until 10am, nor does the Children's museum, we went to Burger King. Yup. It was the only place I could think to keep them contained AND happy for two hours that opens early enough.

They liked it fine, and did well, until Oliver got tired. (See picture.) He's not asleep, really he's not. He just grabbed that blanket and said, "BED!" and then laid down as IF to go to sleep. That's when we left. I only had to drive aimlessly around town for 15 minutes before Derek called and said all was clear on the home-front.

Thank goodness because Ezra chose right then to totally blow out his diaper.

PERFECT TIMING!

All in all, it was a success. No one got hurt (seriously) or had a potty accident (Oliver did have a lovely gift in his diaper for me, but I suppose that's my own fault for feeding him a fast-food breakfast, yes?) Basically, I loaded 'em up with sugar and let them run.

That's right, folks, I am a pro.

ETA: Click here and die of cuteness overload. I have GOT to learn how to do stuff with yarn, ya know?

This is YOUR life

So, the other night, I got down and dirty with Microsoft Word and typed up "The Care and Feeding of the Hagey Children."  I am inclined to do this each time I have a baby (I forgot when Oliver was born, which resulted in some trauma for Henry wherein a cup of white milk sent him into a tailspin...) Basically, it lays out our day. Who wears what, who eats off which plate, which show they are "allowed" to watch, etc for the various aunts that will be care-giving post-baby-birth.

Three pages of TINY print later, I thought unto myself, "Woah, does any of this really matter???"

And it does. Weird, isn't it? I am not the mother to children who will happily do whatever, whenever. They do indeed get all hot and bothered if you try to give Spencer the baseball bowl and Henry the basketball one. It's NOT RIGHT!

Oliver, as discussed previously, is OCD about his sleep habits. There is no pretending it's not true. He is a nut.

My extensive list of "Do's and Don'ts" for my children CAN be ignored if necessary. It really DOESN'T matter for a day, if they watch TV for 9 hours. Really.

But it's funny. To look at my life, my JOB all typed up nice and neat and see what it is I do all day, really. My life, my moments, my entire purpose for BEING at this point, all written down on three sheets of paper. In size 8 font. :)

That's my life folks. The Care and Feeding of Henry, Spencer and Oliver. Soon to include baby #4. And Derek is of course thrown in there.

Morgan: This is your life.

From December 2010