The Best Medicine (Lessons from my Marriage, part 4)

In honor of our Ten Year Anniversary this month, I'm writing out lessons I've learned from being married to my man. 

I don't think I'm an expert on anything really (except maybe how to nurse a baby while chasing a two year old and never even breaking the baby's latch), but I do think that Derek and I have something pretty great. While much of our relationship is due to just being extremely compatible, our life is not perfect, we are not perfect, and I've had to learn some pretty hard lessons in my ten years thus far as a wife. 



(Our photographer double booked himself and so we had a fake cake cutting and a fake bouquet throwing before the reception. It was a very weird day.)

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Khalil Gibran

Derek and I laugh a lot with each other. We always have. It's a vital part of relationship. We make each other laugh, we like to joke and kid around. It's one of the things I value deeply. It might sound strange to say I value our joking around, but I do.

I can't imagine a life where we weren't laughing with each other. I wouldn't want a life without it. Finding joy and humor in things together helps us stay close. Some of my favorite memories in our marriage are of the two of us laughing at... who knows what? I just remember the laughter.

We laugh. We laugh to cope, to connect, to love, to live. We laugh.

And we're happy, even when it's hard.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

Bill Cosby

Important Little Traditions (Lessons I've Learned From My Marriage)

In honor of our Ten Year Anniversary this month, I'm writing out lessons I've learned from being married to my man. 

I don't think I'm an expert on anything really (except maybe how to nurse a baby while chasing a two year old and never even breaking the baby's latch), but I do think that Derek and I have something pretty great. While much of our relationship is due to just being extremely compatible, our life is not perfect, we are not perfect, and I've had to learn some pretty hard lessons in my ten years thus far as a wife. 


(An oldie but a goody, look at Henry picking his nose! HAHAHA!) 

Robert Browing wrote:

What of soul was left, I wonder, when the kissing had to stop? 

When Derek and I were dating, a married friend told us about the ritual her spouse and she had: After every prayer together, they'd kiss.

Guess what one of our rituals is? It's been going strong for 10 years! First of all, if we're praying each day like we should be, that means we're KISSING each day too. It's a fantastic way to keep the love alive. No, we don't have a make-out session every time someone blesses the food, but we do get a chance each day to reconnect.

Along with that ritual comes our nightly scripture study and prayer. We rarely miss a night (and no we're not talking deep, in-depth study), it's a few verses, discuss what needs discussing and a prayer. Oh and don't forget the KISS. ;)

A third tradition that has grown out of necessity as we've added children to the mix is our weekly date night. Babysitters run $10 an hour these days (and they should, we have FIVE kids to watch) so we rarely get to go OUT on a date. So, instead, we bring the date to us. Once a week we'll try and get the kidlets in bed even a half hour early (I don't care what they are doing up there so long as they are quiet and stay put) and Derek or I will run and get dinner from a restaurant. We'll either pick up or make a dessert too.

The laptops get put away, we sit TOGETHER on the couch, and we eat and talk. We'll watch a favorite show or if we're feeling awake we might try for a whole movie. It's simple, it's nothing special, but it's important to us.

These are just examples that work for US, but I think anything that you do together, and make the effort toward doing,  can become an important ritual for your couplehood.

For me and my marriage, it's vital. It reminds me that we are people beyond our jobs. We are a team, and we are each other's best friends. It's so easy to forget!

Have you any rituals/traditions that help make your marriage tick? Share them! Maybe we can all adopt some new ones. ;)