An Ode to Summer

The light is changing.

I don't mean that the days are growing shorter, but of course that's true too.

No.

I mean that as the world starts to tilt and let the southern hemispheres have their days in the sun, our world here is changing. The hazy, glittering light of spring gave way first to robust gold of summer. And now? Creamy ambers filter through the tree leaves that are losing the fight.

Summer is over. Despite what the calendar claims, our summer, our golden summer has come to an end.

I am sad, I'm practically in mourning.

Sweetest summer, you were impossibly short.

I am proud though that we LOVED summer with the love that only those who have long winters can love summer.

We played. Every chance we got, we chose to ignore our responsiblities and play.

And play.

And play.

The lake knew us by names.

The ocean became our friend.

The trees welcomed us.

Winter is still a ways off, blessedly. Autumn is full of its own magic, for which I am grateful. There is beauty and joy to look forward to. Apples to pick, a visit from my parents, a baptism for my sweet boy, my favorite Holidays approach, more birthdays (Henry is approaching TEN!!).

Yes, I can appreciate the fall with all the happiness of my heart, whilst forcing thoughts of ice and cold out as much as possible. I try anyway.

But my dear friend, summer, the whole of you should be written SUMMER because to us, you were EVERYTHING.

We hit the lake one last time today. I know we won't make it back. Rain was forecasted, and it was only abot 75 degrees. That mattered not at all.

We went.

We played.

We rejoiced.

And now, we kiss summer goodbye. Oh my how we will miss you SUMMER.

To my Derek on Our Tenth Wedding Anniversary

I'm feeling ridiculously mushy this morning. So please excuse me. 

Post best enjoyed listening to this song, which reminds me of Derek so much it's like it's ABOUT Derek. 

Dear Derek,

Thank you for the last ten years. Thanks for never waivering. Thank you for working so hard.

When we got married we were kids, no question. We thought we knew what life would be, even what we hoped it would be. And those dreams have come true, Love. But oh my, we have so much more than I ever thought possible.


We've grown a lot in the last decade. We've morphed, we've matured, we've gotten so much better, you and I.



Look at our life, my dear. We could never have assumed we'd have so much. We are richly blessed.

And I am richly blessed because you are my truest friend. I am safe with you, you are my home.


My dreams come true over and over again because of you.







Thanks for being you, thanks for never doubting me or us. Thanks for being everything I knew you were and so much more.









You are my heart, my love, my life. You are my favorite. Still. Always.

The Thumper Rule (Lessons I've Learned From My Marriage)

In honor of our Ten Year Anniversary next month, I'm writing out lessons I've learned from being married to my man. 

I don't think I'm an expert on anything really (except maybe how to nurse a baby while chasing a two year old and never even breaking the baby's latch), but I do think that Derek and I have something pretty great. While much of our relationship is due to just being extremely compatible, our life is not perfect, we are not perfect, and I've had to learn some pretty hard lessons in my ten years thus far as a wife. 

I learned today's lesson when Derek and I were engaged, and continue to relearn it all the time. 

As a kid we had what was called "The Thumper Rule" which if you've ever seen Bambi, you know is simply: 

Source

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." 

As kids we pretty shamelessly violated this rule, something that frustrated my father endlessly. 

And it is just about the best piece of marriage advice there is. 

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Chances are, that rude thing I think about saying about the way my spouse puts dishes in the dishwasher is unnecessary.

 The dishes are getting done, right? 

For a scriptural reference: 

Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger" (KJV) 

In my life, the wrath I'm turning away does not apply to Derek. (Derek like NEVER gets mad at me.) The wrath is my own. If I'm inclined to snap, or be rude, forcing myself to use soft, kind words, even if I DON'T feel like it, makes a world of difference in what I am feeling. It literally changes my heart.

And what if your spouse is being a poo?

The scripture still applies. It can be incredibly difficult to remain calm and kind when your partner is NOT extending you the same courtesy.

When we practice the art of speaking kindly, of being more gentle with our words, those we love will notice. And they will be more inclined to do this as well.

I guess I have learned that if I want to be around Derek for pretty much EVER, then I need to show him that in the way I talk to him. Years ago, when were were engaged, Derek asked me "Are you going to be a wife who yells?"

I can't even remember what had been happening prior to that question, but I remember saying, "No! Of course not!" and so, ten years later, I'm trying to live up to that agreement.

There is a pretty popular Aristole quote going around that says, 

"Be kind for everyone is fighting a harder battle." 

I know my spouse's battle. I know he needs kindness and a soft answer.

We all do!

A Wee Announcement

No. I am not pregnant.

Just thought I'd clear that up firstly.

Actual Announcement: We're MOVING.

BWAHAHAH. Just kidding. I'm never moving ever again.

Ever.

No, this announcement is in direct relation to the day to be CELEBRATED one month from today.

Look at your calendar. What is ONE MONTH FROM TODAY?

You're probably saying to yourself, "Morgan, I have no idea what is one month from today!"

Well, I'll tell ya.

One month from today is Derek and my 10th wedding anniversary.

That's right! A decade ago!

(This picture is SO indicative of our life: Me being ridiculous, and Derek just kind of like, "Okay...?" 

And so, in honor of my husband and our super awesome life together, I'll be doing a little online marriage series. It'll just be some things I've learned over the years. I'm not the expert in the family, but maybe I can convince the good Doctor to drop by here at some point too. *wink wink*.

So, anyway, starting this Friday, I'll be hitting up this space with marriage talk each Friday for the whole month. It'll be five Fridays in all.

I'm excited about it, and I think it's going to be really great. So, stayed tuned.

Final, super fun tidbit: Also, if you have a question about marriage for Derek, you can email me and I promise to forward it on to him. MAYBE he'll answer it right here. morganhagey@gmail dot com

Hurray!!

2011 Woah

I could post a million links and tons of photos but suffice it to say that things changed a lot in 2011.

We went from a newborn to a 1 year old. (and from 1 to 2 and from 3 to 4 and from 5 to 6!)
We went from three jobs to four.
We went from old teeny house to younger bigger (but still old).
We went from one city to another.
I went from chub to lean.

2011 was a good year.

2012? Well, I have some big plans, and I'm not sure how it's all going to pan out, but suffice it to say we've got some resolutions, and I am QUITE resolved. So, we'll see how it goes.

I'm giving up Diet Coke.

I know. I know.

Try not to die of shock.

There are other things too, finance-related and health-related. I'm serious when I say, BIG changes.

And that makes me nervous because as all humans, I tend to start off well and sort of dwindle down to my previous state. I can't say for sure that this year will be any different, but I *want* it to be different. I *want* these goals to come to fruition.

So, we'll just see how it goes.

Dave Ramsey will be SO proud.

No Paternity Test Required

Related much?

That picture was taken outside at the wedding we attended this weekend. SO fun, SO busy!

Aren't they cute? We all grew up together long ago in Wisconsin. The groom is my sister's husband's brother and the beautiful bride is a good friend from the Northwoods. CUTE! I love weddings. I love remembering my own crazy day so many years ago. :) It was a ball.

Then Saturday the big boys and Derek went to see Kung Fu Panda 2 with their cute cousins. They had a blast. I stayed home with the babies because Oliver doesn't believe in watching movies. I mean, it's offensive really. But not as offensive as THIS:

Happy Memorial Day. This is the scene we woke up this morning. Snow. Last year is snowed late in May, but is even later. So special. Or something. Henry is hacking up a lung so we're just staying home and trying to not freeze to death.

But seriously, aren't you relieved to know beyond a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of your being that Derek is indeed my baby daddy? I mean, right?

Being a Theater Major means I can't do MATH!

We took the kids on down to Provo the other day. It was necessary as Derek had been invited to attend a career day at a high school there. Well, okay, DEREK's presence was necessary, ours were simply a bonus. After career day and a delicious lunch, we headed up to B-to the-Y-to the-U. We had tickets to an art exhibit and wanted to show the kids around Mom and Dad's old stomping grounds.

The kids were generally unimpressed, but the nostalgia of wandering the Nelke Theater was just too much for this mama. "KIDS!" I pointed out with a thrill, "This is the ROOM where Mom and Dad met!"

The idea that there was a time before THEY existed is nearly impossible for our littles to grasp. The sheer possibility that there was a time before Mom and Dad existed as "Mom and Dad" doesn't exactly click with them, ya know?

It seems so long ago it barely clicks with me! I was saying (as I danced around on stage in the theater) that it'd been FIVE LONG YEARS since we graduated.

Derek had to correct my math. "We graduated in '04."

"Yes, five years ago!" I said.

"No. Seven."

I employed my fingers. Henry is five, going on six. He was born at the END of 2005. Good grief. It's been seven years.

Wandering the Harris Fine Arts Center and seeing those little arts majors (who look downright YOUNG) just filled me with... I don't know, not longing... more just sweet sweet memories. College was more fun than I could have hoped. I was a little, idealistic, happy theater major all those years ago...

I texted Maren, my room mate from our pre-wedded days, and who is still one of my dearest friends in the world, "In Provo today! Remember when..." and of course, she did remember. I knew she would. :)

Was it really seven years ago?

It was, and so many beautiful things, people and experiences have filled those seven years that I barely even noticed.

Rewind Just a Bit

Did I ever tell you about the day Ezra was born?

NOT the BIRTH story, I know I told you about that. A tale that epic is not soon forgotten by the girl who's nether-regions were intimately involved.

NO!

The day of Ezra's birth.

From December 2010

It was just such an amazingly great day and I forgot to tell you about it, in all the hub-bub of baby-having.

Ezra's birth was great, but man, what was SO MUCH BETTER was being done having a baby! I very much liked the snuggling in and being visited repeatedly by people whom I love.

Plus I stayed in bed all day, well until dinner-time, which I have literally NEVER done in my life up to that point and don't think I'll ever get to do again.

And Derek made delicious pork tacos that I think I ate four of... and Kim forbade me from drinking 64 oz of Diet Coke.

And my parents came with my brother and my mom held Ezra while my brother and dad and winterized my house.

And my "sister" Lexi came and Alice spent the WHOLE day, and Kim worked non-stop. (That girl worked non-stop for a week!)

It was like magic that day. A beautiful baby, my children and family all around, and I was home.

Oh it was the best.

But there's more. 

The day Ezra was born changed something in me. How... I don't know. Why? No idea. 

I just know that with four littles, I am calmer, more patient, slower to anger than I have ever been. I'm sort of soaking up each day. In fact, everyone seems to be better behaved around here. 

It's actually a little weird.

The day Ezra came along altered our family so completely, it's almost like two different families. It's shocking to me, how much we *needed* him. That tiny little squalling person has made our family so much better! ( I mean, not that we weren't AWESOME before, of course!)

***
I have no idea why I'm waxing so nostalgic today. I was just thinking about how Ezra is nine whole weeks and he's almost laughing, and where did the time go?

"Slow down!" I whispered to him today. "Stay tiny for a just a bit longer!"

His brothers never EVER listened to this motherly demand, and he shows no signs of heeding either.

January 5th...

Happy January 5th! It's a lovely day today! It's butt-cold outside, and it's Ezra's 1 month birthday!

For the last month, Ezra has spent 95% of his time here:

From January 2011

Seriously, and the other 5%  in the arms of someone who loves him. It's been a VERY VERY good month. He's been laid down, in his bed, for, if I had to guess for, maybe 12 hours of his cute little life...

Have you ever had the privilege of snuggling a newborn baby nearly non-stop for a full month??? I very seriously suggest you give it a whirl sometime. Just borrow one if you don't want to have your own. It is SOUL-CANDY! (I am coining that term...)

I've been trying (and failing, super fantastically) this last month to carry a calm, happy, soothing vibe, not just for Mr. Ez, but for the other three monkeys I call my own. Early mornings are especially challenging for me to maintain this, but at the times that I am succeeding, we have had some really lovely family time. 

The saying, "When the momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" could not be more true. And so, I've smiled, and hugged and yelled, and then tried again. The big boys have painted, played, built, and eaten right along side of me and their tiniest brother all day long, with a very VERY busy daddy thrown into the mix every moment he can manage.

Can I just say it's been WONDERFUL??? The hard days are always hard, but truly this transition from three to four has been mostly easy and extremely smooth, and such a blessing. 

I remember, before Spencer was born, lamenting the whole issue of adding a sibling means less time for the oldest, blah blah blah. How silly of me! Now, four kids in, I am thankful for a gaggle of brothers to talk to each other, play with each other, pound on each other and just love the crap out of each other. Ezra is a seriously lucky kid. Every baby should be so loved. 

I know we'll have days when we think "FOUR? Were we nuts?" but right now, as he snoozes (and is stinky) right here in the wrap, next to my heart, I am SO thankful for four. We didn't it plan him this way, not at all, but good gravy, God knows better than we do what we need, and WHEN we need it. 

Happy One Month, Ezra Lee! We're all so glad you're here!

Etched in Deep...

I really have given up TV for the most part. I still hold a soft spot in my heart for Chuck and Bones. That's it. :) And thanks to Hulu, I can watch them whenever I want. (Oh, and I enjoy the weather before falling asleep. MAN, I'm so old.)

And Bones is particularly fascinating to me, because, regardless of the fictional nature of the show, the SCIENCE is real. Bones tell your life story.

So, as I hobble around miserably sore, aching into my very bones from raking the back yard yesterday and from a chiropractor who was "out of the office" today (BLAH BLAH BLAH!) I know this baby is etching himself in my bones. My very bones.

Just like Henry did. Before him, my bones were those of a woman who'd never had a child. If they found me in a thousand years, nothing but bone, they'd see it instantly, "female, never gave birth". But once he was mine, that changed forever. Then Spencer simply wrote it deeper in, Oliver and his misery of a pregnancy absolutely drove that truth in deeper and then underlined it for good measure. And now, this little dude, spinning, swirling and I swear, using my pelvis as a chin-up bar (he'll be strong, right?) is making sure it's written on my bones in bold font.

I know it doesn't require a birth to be a mother. With a brother who is adopted, I know it's not necessary at all. Women can be mothers in many many ways.  But that doesn't change that birthing children permanently alters a person physically. For example my stretch marks would make you cry. So I won't show you. I did earn them though.

Physically, I'm these wack-a-doos' mother. There is no denying it. I wouldn't want it any other way.

It's written on my bones.

From Nov 2010