Can't Keep Eyes Open...

I guess I am out of practice at this whole doula-gig thing because one night and morning of birthing, one afternoon and evening of parenting and I am so wiped that I just spelled "wiped" like "wioped" and didn't know why Google was telling me it was wrong.

So, real quick:

My dear client held off until the snow quit. She had a beautiful baby girl today.

But can I talk about something? You know how (for those of you who have done it) when you have a baby, you forget pretty quickly what it FELT LIKE to have a baby? You know, that lovely amnesia that somehow convinces most of us to do it more than once?

I mean, come on, right this minute, try to remember what a contraction ACTUALLY feels like... I dare ya. You're trying to right now, but you can't. You remember tight or pressure or pain, but the reality of it? GONE.

It's beautiful.

I seem, no matter how hard I try to avoid it, to do a birth by the time my newest dude is 3 months old. I wasn't planning on taking any clients right now, but this one seemed necessary. So, off I went, 3 months post-partum, (five days after they hired me) to a birth. I prayed and PRAYED Ezra would take the freaking bottle, and that the tiny amount of milk I managed to procur in five days time would be enough (He did and it was.)

Well, the other two times I have waltzed off to a birth with a 12 week old kid at home, I've enjoyed the lovely amnesia while assisting another woman give birth.

So, today, I would like to know WHY this amnesia has not kicked in this time around? You guys, I swear unto you, I remembered every sensation as this woman went through her labor. I can remember it all in perfect, horrific detail.

It made it hard to focus on HER when I'm all "OH MY GOSH THAT HURTS SO MUCH!" Seriously.

So, now, I'm wondering, have I had too many babies to be allowed to forget? Or was it just that Ezra's birth was rougher than I liked? Or was it just too soon this time around?

 No idea, all I know is OH MY GOSH THAT HURTS SO MUCH!

Ow.

I need to go to bed.

Maybe by tomorrow, I'll have forgotten...

Please Pray...

From March 2011

Please pray that my sweet, very pregnant client does NOT go into labor until tomorrow, okay thanks? SNOW SNOW SNOW!  I actually cancelled a prenatal with her due to weather. *I have NEVER done that!* It's bad. BAD BAD BAD. If she needs me, I'll go, but oh, let's just pray she hangs on until tomorrow, all righty?

AND... PRAY! 

Okthankyouverymuch!

Rewind Just a Bit

Did I ever tell you about the day Ezra was born?

NOT the BIRTH story, I know I told you about that. A tale that epic is not soon forgotten by the girl who's nether-regions were intimately involved.

NO!

The day of Ezra's birth.

From December 2010

It was just such an amazingly great day and I forgot to tell you about it, in all the hub-bub of baby-having.

Ezra's birth was great, but man, what was SO MUCH BETTER was being done having a baby! I very much liked the snuggling in and being visited repeatedly by people whom I love.

Plus I stayed in bed all day, well until dinner-time, which I have literally NEVER done in my life up to that point and don't think I'll ever get to do again.

And Derek made delicious pork tacos that I think I ate four of... and Kim forbade me from drinking 64 oz of Diet Coke.

And my parents came with my brother and my mom held Ezra while my brother and dad and winterized my house.

And my "sister" Lexi came and Alice spent the WHOLE day, and Kim worked non-stop. (That girl worked non-stop for a week!)

It was like magic that day. A beautiful baby, my children and family all around, and I was home.

Oh it was the best.

But there's more. 

The day Ezra was born changed something in me. How... I don't know. Why? No idea. 

I just know that with four littles, I am calmer, more patient, slower to anger than I have ever been. I'm sort of soaking up each day. In fact, everyone seems to be better behaved around here. 

It's actually a little weird.

The day Ezra came along altered our family so completely, it's almost like two different families. It's shocking to me, how much we *needed* him. That tiny little squalling person has made our family so much better! ( I mean, not that we weren't AWESOME before, of course!)

***
I have no idea why I'm waxing so nostalgic today. I was just thinking about how Ezra is nine whole weeks and he's almost laughing, and where did the time go?

"Slow down!" I whispered to him today. "Stay tiny for a just a bit longer!"

His brothers never EVER listened to this motherly demand, and he shows no signs of heeding either.

ARG!

I am so close to being a certified doula, it's scary. I have until April 26th to get all my crap together and get it in the mail. I AM SO CLOSE! I need one more eval from a doc (fingers crossed for my client who is having a baby soon, I hope, she was due last Tuesday), and

I have to write a research paper.

"The Purpose and Value of Labor Support." I have taken the final, written the other 3papers, read the books, gone to hours and hours and hours of class, gone to birth after birth, etc etc etc, and I am ALMOST DONE!

So, I here and struggling with writer's block. EVERY doula who certifies through DONA (Doulas of North America) has to write the SAME paper, on the SAME topic. How, then, do I write something original, well-researched and intelligent without sounding like EVERYONE ELSE???

I'm thinking about starting out with "Doulas kick arse and here's why:"

It's attention-grabbing, right?? I mean, you'd be curious and read on, right?

Sigh. Two long years of all this, and I'm stuck on a stupid paper.

Grrrrrr.

In other news, Derek and I were "fake" fighting (which we do ALL THE TIME) today in the car and Henry FREAKED OUT, started yelling, "NO MAMA! BE QUIET! BE NICE TO DADDY!"

I am offended by this, of course. How QUICKLY my little son abandons the mother who gave him life, and sides with his dad.

Again, I say, GRRRRR.

At least Spencer still needs me.

Okay, no more messing around. I have got to get this paper written.

I wonder if I could buy one off the internet. ;) (Kidding, only kidding.)