I guess I am out of practice at this whole doula-gig thing because one night and morning of birthing, one afternoon and evening of parenting and I am so wiped that I just spelled "wiped" like "wioped" and didn't know why Google was telling me it was wrong.
So, real quick:
My dear client held off until the snow quit. She had a beautiful baby girl today.
But can I talk about something? You know how (for those of you who have done it) when you have a baby, you forget pretty quickly what it FELT LIKE to have a baby? You know, that lovely amnesia that somehow convinces most of us to do it more than once?
I mean, come on, right this minute, try to remember what a contraction ACTUALLY feels like... I dare ya. You're trying to right now, but you can't. You remember tight or pressure or pain, but the reality of it? GONE.
I seem, no matter how hard I try to avoid it, to do a birth by the time my newest dude is 3 months old. I wasn't planning on taking any clients right now, but this one seemed necessary. So, off I went, 3 months post-partum, (five days after they hired me) to a birth. I prayed and PRAYED Ezra would take the freaking bottle, and that the tiny amount of milk I managed to procur in five days time would be enough (He did and it was.)
Well, the other two times I have waltzed off to a birth with a 12 week old kid at home, I've enjoyed the lovely amnesia while assisting another woman give birth.
So, today, I would like to know WHY this amnesia has not kicked in this time around? You guys, I swear unto you, I remembered every sensation as this woman went through her labor. I can remember it all in perfect, horrific detail.
It made it hard to focus on HER when I'm all "OH MY GOSH THAT HURTS SO MUCH!" Seriously.
So, now, I'm wondering, have I had too many babies to be allowed to forget? Or was it just that Ezra's birth was rougher than I liked? Or was it just too soon this time around?
No idea, all I know is OH MY GOSH THAT HURTS SO MUCH!
I need to go to bed.
Maybe by tomorrow, I'll have forgotten...