Monday, March 14, 2011

Are these your panties?

You guys. Remember last summer when I mowed the lawn once?

Be impressed. I am at it again!

Anyway, so our backyard at this here new house is large. It's QUITE large. And well, it was basically winter when we moved in, and I was very pregnant and so not a whole lot of yard work got done from November to March.

And by yard work I mean "depooping" from the dog.

Well. I did do it once when I was 38 weeks pregnant. The boys and I went out one Saturday when Derek was working and raked the whole shebang. That involved some poop cleaning.

But then Ezra popped out, and it snowed and well... yeah.

Fast-forward three months (considering 1-3 poops a day) and well, you get the idea. The boys have wearing their snow boots outside because well, I don't want them to get poop on their shoes. The snow is long gone. That is beside the point.

So, yesterday I finally decided to implement the pooper-scooper I had spent $22 on. If you don't know, depooping a back yard is totally an appropriate Sabbath activity.

Anyway. So I'm scooping like it's my job, and discover that our yard is freaking TRASHED. It's not because of MY children or MY dog. The previous tenants did a number back there. An entire window pane SMASHED, a shed full of garden soil, video game cases and cheetios bags, and stuffing from a murdered stuffed animal everywhere! (I only know it was a stuffed animal because I found it's leg in the yard. I had a mild heart attack when I thought it was a REAL leg from a REAL animal, but no, crisis averted!)

So, I'm realizing that poop is the LEAST of my worries.

The absolute icing on the craptacular backyard disaster? The very muddy pair of *panties* (OH HOW I DESPISE THAT WORD! IT GIVES ME THE HEEBIEJEEBIES!)

I KNOW they don't belong to anyone in MY house. So, if you've visited recently and are missing a pair, did you happen to deposit them by the shed in my backyard? I have them for you. They are in the trash can with the poop. You want them? You can have them.

10 comments:

f e l i c i t y ☂ said...

Oh, heavens. I'm so sorry for you. What a discovery, after dealing with the dog poo and stuff. I promise you they aren't mine. . . .

I gave you an award today! :)

The Wolford Family said...

Do they have Spider Man on them???

Stacy said...

Oh my. That's incredibly gross.

Our backyard is also covered in dog poop of the German Shepherd variety for much the same reasons as yours. The dog and I are not friends. I don't deal with the dog and I refuse to de-poop the backyard. Bad news is that Max really wants to play in the backyard. Hmmm, wonder how much I'll have to pay the girlies...

BEK said...

Funny. We found a pair of panties in our yard last year too. I only wish the snow would melt here so we could find whatever treasures are out there. Thanks for sharing the adventure.

Morgan -Ing said...

felicity! I saw, thanks! I'll get over there and accept! :)

Sarah- No, they do not. Thanks for asking. ;)

Stacy- Yeah. That is why we have snow boots.

Bek- How in the world do undies end up in the yard? I just don't know.

McEuens said...

Sounds to me like your shed has seem some action!

Morgan -Ing said...

EWWWWWWW Maren, my brain (surprisingly) had NOT gone there. EWWWWWWWW!

Hilary said...

Hahaha, I too found a lot of "goodies" at our house when we moved. Seems like the backyard is fair game to throw your crap.
Annoying, it's true.

Naomi said...

Well, who knew a backyard could be so adventurous in all the wrong ways - what happened to having play and fun in the backyard??? so sorry for your bad finds. Blah!

Morgan -Ing said...

Hilary- I don't get it! How does the lawn mower not eat this all up? I guess it will when I get it out there...

Naomi- Seriously. What has been going on back there?

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