Monday, April 7, 2008


Bedtime at my house is.... interesting.

I have tried VERY hard to establish a soothing, enjoyable routine that my children recognize as "BEDTIME." But... well... here's how it goes.

6:30 I announce that it is bathtime. Henry screams "NO!NO!NO!" and runs away.

6:33 I have stripped both children and starting the bath. Henry still saying, "NO BATH! I WANT TO WATCH CLIFFORD!"

6:35 Both children are in the bath.

It should be noted that I made a bath an important part of our routine for two reason, 1. My boys are dirty. 2. A lot of sleep books recommend a bath as a calming event. HA!

6:37 Henry announces that he is pooping. He isn't, just toots, but nonetheless, I yank him out and make him sit on the potty. He HATES it. He cries.

6:40 Henry is fishing with his bathtoys and Spencer is attempting to eat the bathmat. Spencer finds Henry to be hilarious.

6:45 Spencer has begun splashing with great gusto, and Henry soon joins in, I'm soaked and irritated.

6:50 Henry drinks the bath water. It should be noted (lots of things should be noted today...) that I have horror of drinking bath water. It's warm, it's soapy, and more importantly, I'm quite certain that at least one, if not both, of my children go wee-wee in the water every day.

6:51 Henry continues to use the bath as a giant beverage dispenser. I say in my most mean mommy voice "Henry if you swallow any more bath water, you're getting out and going straight to bed." He complies only to the letter of the law and begins drinking the water but then spitting it out all over his brother. Unfortunately for me, Spencer laughs so hard he has tears in his eyes, which Henry is thrilled about. He continues to spit water on his brother. It's so cute, and gross all at the same time.

6:55 Spencer is removed from the bath, he cries. I dry him, and try to dress him in PJs. He's crying the whole time, and squirming. I accidently zip his belly because he's squirming. He screams, he cries. I feel terrible. I put Spencer on the floor in the boys' room, where he continues to cry. I get Henry.

At this point, I am not feeling the love, it's not soothing for anyone. I'm wet, Spencer is crying, Henry is drinking the bath water, and Derek is at school.

7:00 Henry is out, and getting his jammies on. He wants to brush his teeth, NO JAMMIES. I declare that if he doesn't put his PJs on RIGHT NOW he'll have to go to bed without brushing his teeth. (WHY DID I SAY THAT?) He complies and gets to brush his teeth.

7:01 We "read" a book. Henry likes to read it to me. Spencer is crying, still.

7:04 We say a "prayer" but Henry interuppts me to declare that the baby is eating a toy. And Daddy rode the bike to school. And Thomas pushed Henry down today. And he ate tacos for dinner. So, we stop the prayer, talk about the day, and THEN he allows me to pray. Spencer is still crying.

7:08 I wrap Spencer up, nurse him, Henry declares he needs water. I get the water. I sing, I go.

PHEW! Welcome to my life. I don't know WHY the bedtime routine is not soothing, calming, etc. I TRY to make it nice, but it never works that way. It's tough, but true. After all that, I'M READY for bed.


Anna said...

Man alive that is a crazy 30 minutes. My girls have such dry skin that they get bathed 1-2 times a week. We lay on my bed read a story and then they go sweetly to bed. :) I'll be thinking about you the next time my children go sweetly to bed. :) Okay so I really do feel bad for you, that must be stressful. But honestly its kind of funny although gross at the same time. :)

Lynn said...

Morgan, You probably don't remember me. My husband Janson was college roommates with Derek. I got your blog link off your Christmas letter. I've browsed it a few times since then and LOVE reading it. It's 9:40 and my two year old is running around the house... we have major bedtime issues, too. Anyways, I just started a new team blog called "Mommy Moments," thanks to the inspiration of Mormon mommy blogs like yours and so many others. We're hoping for funny posts about our mommy stories, but the humor is slow coming. If you're interested in contributing we'd LOVE to have your stories included on the blog. Check it out at and leave a comment if you'd like to be a part of it all.

Chels said...

Awww. I'd help if I knew how. I don't even want to fathom how the parents get these kids I'm nannying to bed at night. They let them have cookies and snacks and juice and candy alllll the time and they're SO wound up when I'm done AND they still have dinner after I leave. I'm just glad I don't have to do that part.
I wonder if it'd go more smoothly if they bathed a little earlier (like right after dinner) and then had some jammie time before bed. Just a thought, not that I'm an expert or anything NEAR the sort. HA!

Nathaly said...

Morgs, that is soooo how bathtime goes at my house! Why do they always want to drink the water?!? Anyway, thanks for letting me know that the next time I'm sitting there with my jeans half soaked, I can think of you and know that you feel my pain. Ah, the joys of having two boys so close in age.

Yasmine said...

Ummm...ditto. I used to bathe them seperately because I didn't think I could handle it, but it's so much easier (and water concious) to bathe them together. McKay also drinks the water. I'm not sure how to stop him. I try to get the calm "feeling" after the bath by turning off some lights, turning on soft music, and giving them both warm milk. Jason always seems to be gone at bedtime too. I wonder if husbands do this on purpose...

Kara said...

That sounds SO much like our evenings. Lol. Will is totally obsessed with drinking/spitting the bath water and it drives me crazy. If it makes you feel any better, I was reading in one of my parenting magazines that since urine is sterile (or something like that) it's not really a big deal if they pee in the water and get washed with it ... but it's still so gross. Lol. Oh, and we totally make the same threat, you'll get out if you drink any more, then the spitting comes, and we also threaten with no teeth brushing, but that just makes no sense huh? Lol The joys of motherhood.

Jae said...

Haha oh Morgs, I love you. Addison is pretty much the same but she really does poop in the water. Sigh.


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