Bedtime

Bedtime at my house is.... interesting.

I have tried VERY hard to establish a soothing, enjoyable routine that my children recognize as "BEDTIME." But... well... here's how it goes.

6:30 I announce that it is bathtime. Henry screams "NO!NO!NO!" and runs away.

6:33 I have stripped both children and starting the bath. Henry still saying, "NO BATH! I WANT TO WATCH CLIFFORD!"

6:35 Both children are in the bath.

It should be noted that I made a bath an important part of our routine for two reason, 1. My boys are dirty. 2. A lot of sleep books recommend a bath as a calming event. HA!

6:37 Henry announces that he is pooping. He isn't, just toots, but nonetheless, I yank him out and make him sit on the potty. He HATES it. He cries.

6:40 Henry is fishing with his bathtoys and Spencer is attempting to eat the bathmat. Spencer finds Henry to be hilarious.

6:45 Spencer has begun splashing with great gusto, and Henry soon joins in, I'm soaked and irritated.

6:50 Henry drinks the bath water. It should be noted (lots of things should be noted today...) that I have horror of drinking bath water. It's warm, it's soapy, and more importantly, I'm quite certain that at least one, if not both, of my children go wee-wee in the water every day.

6:51 Henry continues to use the bath as a giant beverage dispenser. I say in my most mean mommy voice "Henry if you swallow any more bath water, you're getting out and going straight to bed." He complies only to the letter of the law and begins drinking the water but then spitting it out all over his brother. Unfortunately for me, Spencer laughs so hard he has tears in his eyes, which Henry is thrilled about. He continues to spit water on his brother. It's so cute, and gross all at the same time.

6:55 Spencer is removed from the bath, he cries. I dry him, and try to dress him in PJs. He's crying the whole time, and squirming. I accidently zip his belly because he's squirming. He screams, he cries. I feel terrible. I put Spencer on the floor in the boys' room, where he continues to cry. I get Henry.

At this point, I am not feeling the love, it's not soothing for anyone. I'm wet, Spencer is crying, Henry is drinking the bath water, and Derek is at school.

7:00 Henry is out, and getting his jammies on. He wants to brush his teeth, NO JAMMIES. I declare that if he doesn't put his PJs on RIGHT NOW he'll have to go to bed without brushing his teeth. (WHY DID I SAY THAT?) He complies and gets to brush his teeth.

7:01 We "read" a book. Henry likes to read it to me. Spencer is crying, still.

7:04 We say a "prayer" but Henry interuppts me to declare that the baby is eating a toy. And Daddy rode the bike to school. And Thomas pushed Henry down today. And he ate tacos for dinner. So, we stop the prayer, talk about the day, and THEN he allows me to pray. Spencer is still crying.

7:08 I wrap Spencer up, nurse him, Henry declares he needs water. I get the water. I sing, I go.

PHEW! Welcome to my life. I don't know WHY the bedtime routine is not soothing, calming, etc. I TRY to make it nice, but it never works that way. It's tough, but true. After all that, I'M READY for bed.