|From February 2012|
(This picture is entirely unrelated to anything other than a nice "ISN'T MY BABY CUTE??" picture.)
I tend to have a pretty good handle on my "OH MY GOSH, I SUCK," feelings of inadequacy. I tend to be well-aware of my OWN failings, of course. But I try really REALLY hard to not play the mommy-mind-game of "She has her crap so much more together than I do". I try.
Yesterday, I was smacked so hard in the face of my inabilities that I could not SHAKE it.
I obsessed about it all day.
I talked to Derek about it.
I talked to my dear friend about it.
I stressed about it.
I could not wrap my mind around a particular person's abilities that she displayed as mother/wife/woman/person.
And then I walked back into my own home, my own reality.
I found myself severely lacking.
All day today, I found myself drifting back to the "What can I do better" self-talk.
There is, of course, much room for improvement.
But I must NOT allow myself to fall into the trap of "BUT SHE DOES (insert random thing here)". I can't.
Everyone has problems. Everyone has struggles.
I do too.
I am not perfect.
Neither is anyone else.
If I continue to say that to myself A LOT, maybe I'll remember that I truly TRULY believe it.