Friday, August 5, 2011

Why my Neighbor Hates Me

So, I am PRETTY much convinced that my next door neighbor hates us. I mean, he sort of is disdainful all the time, but specifically I think he hates us. First, I don't think they enjoy living next door to a revolving door that is our rental house. Secondly, he is obsessive about his lawn (HOW DO THESE PEOPLE FIND ME???) and so am I, but in completely opposite ways. He obsessively cares for his. I obsessively forget to water/mow/weed whack/edge mine. Derek barely notices we have a lawn. The man works. (What can I say? If I say, "Go mow!" he'll go and he'll mow. The end.)

So, next door is a delightfully green lush grass (that frequently has cars parked on it?) and then here are we, dry, brownish-green (heavy on the brown) with bikes, etc frequently scattered about. (How bikes are worse than cars, I do not know!)

Additionally, I am completely mystified by the way our property lines work, and therefore *think* that a particular tree is in OUR yard, but except that that Neighbor-man mows all the grass on that side, right up to our driveway...? But if a branch falls off the tree, he then throws into our yard??? Do you see my confusion? The grass is HIS, but the tree is OURS? I can not win this mind game. I can not.

Anyway, I got all uppity and decided to water the lawn. I don't know why. This is not a question I can answer.

I dutifully moved our little circle sprinkler all over the lawn every 20 minutes, until I forgot to move it AND forgot to turn it off. Whoops. Luckily nothing flooded, so it was all good.

A few days later, I was looking at the grass and wondering WHY there was that funny crop circle in our yard.

Oh wait. I watered that one day. Now it actually looks WORSE. The spot I left the sprinkler on too long apparently wasn't too long, but in fact exactly the right amount of time, as everything else is dead, and this little bit is lush, green and crop-circle-y.

From August 2011
(Sorry for the shadow, it's morning and my house faces west. These things I can not control!)

I am absolutely certain this only made my neighbor more irritated with his trashy-rental-neighbors.

I kind of am tempted to water it some more and see what we can with it. Maybe get on the news? Maybe lose a child among the homemade jungle (if it gets long enough...) and get infamous! Rich?! Books deals! The possibilities are really enticing.

Perhaps he hates us because of my thistle. WHICH TOTALLY FLOWERED!

From August 2011

Well, I'm off to water the circle. Have a fantastical weekend.


Regina said...

Wish I could send you this :

Dearest greetings from Lehrte/Hannover in Germany


Deila said...

I totally understand this, as my neighbors hate me for sure, we do rent, have two dogs and they call the association all the time on us. But they have 3 dogs that poop on their front lawn and in the street -- can't figure it out.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...