Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A true story

Yesterday I was abused by a chiropractor. Seriously. After my post about running in the dark, who knew my nice, kind chiro would be the one?

Dude. My back has been freaking KILLING ME. I mean we're going on three weeks of PAIN PAIN PAIN. I don't like it. Not one little bit. It makes the smallest tasks seem insurmountable. Laundry? No can-doey-bubba-luey. Cooking? Idon'tthinkso.

So, I've been visiting dear old Dr. G again. I hadn't seen him since I was mucho-preggo with Oliver. When I called to make the first appointment, the little nurse/receptionist REMEMBERED me and was all, "Wow, it's been a long time!"

Good gravy.

The first visit was typical and fine. I felt neither better nor worse afterwards. He wanted to see me "early" this week again, so yesterday, I dumped the kidlets with Derek and headed off.

Well.

Harumph.

I'm shooting the breeze on the table, la, la, la, he's all, "I'm going to just check something here..." la la la

KAAAAACHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

He jumped on me. But not in a bad way. In a totally appropriate-for-a-chiro-way. I just wished he'd warned me before hand.

Holy shiz, it hurt.

So, I yelled.

Loud.

In fact I yelled, "HOLY SHIZ! THAT HURT!"

And he was all, "I'm SO sorry! But I could see you were too tense. If I had warned you, it wouldn't have worked!"

Wow. It stung. It was unpleasant.

But, it was also like, exactly where I had been WISHING I could crack my back. So, I guess that's good. But then he stuck his ELBOW in my back. Repeatedly. That was also unpleasant.

Apparently I'm a hot mess. (No, not a "haute" mess. I'll never be that.) I'm all tense and muscle-spasmy.

Today it hurts so bad. I just want to die.

I'm supposed to go back on Friday. I'm hoping for LESS pain and MORE gain this time around.

To all the chiros who read my blog: WARN A PERSON BEFORE YOU JUMP ON THEM.

Thanks.

10 comments:

Rocketgirl said...

Are you supposed to leave a chiropractor in pain? That seems like the opposite of the reason you go in there. Here's to hoping Friday doesn't suck!

Morgan and Derek said...

Honest to goodness, I thought so too. But I'm hoping this is like the bad before the "good." Cuz $50 for a 5 minute visit plus a ton MORE pain is less than cool.

Amy said...

I will pass the message along to my husband. He's always jumping on old ladies without warning them about it first. Maybe now he'll finally listen to me.
Kidding, kidding. I hope you feel better soon!!!

Becky said...

I'm one of those people who is slightly dubious that chiropractors are "real" doctors. So this post is kind of reinforcing that. :)

Holy shiz. Hee, hee! I used to use that phrase in college all the time, and now I'm thinking I should pick it up again.

Chelsea said...

O hallowed halls and vine draped walls
The Proudliest sight there is
When gray and sere our hair hath turned
We shall revere the lessons learned
In our days at dear old Shiz
Dear old... Oh-oh-ho-ho-oh-OLD... Shizzzzzzz.


Also, any nurse, whether big or little, is going to remember a woman with a vernacular that includes "no can doey bubba louey."

Chelsea said...

PS- Chiropractors are real. They go to school with all the rest of the "real" doctors and do all the same "real" doctor things up until the last year and a half, where "real" doctors focus on medicine and the conglomeration of the entire body things and chiropractors focus on back-related things. It's akin to a specialist of any other kind. I apologize, but I couldn't leave it alone. To each their own.

Brian and Kelsey said...

Friday will be better sometimes you have to hurt first then be better

BloggingBills said...

Boo,
I'm not sure voodoo doc is good for you.
MA

Alice said...

I am glad you are getting treatment for you back. My heart is warmed every time I hear about Spencer saying hi to me via white cars in Vegas. Have I mentioned how much I love your boys lately?

Yasmine said...

Isn't it ironic that he is HURTING you and you're paying him for it? Life is funny.

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