Could you just take a moment to think about how different YOUR life would be, if I tweeted on Twitter.
You'd get absolutely nothing done.
So, with that, let's look at things I would say, if I could be enticed to tweet my life away (aint never gonna happen, by the way.)
Here we go: (Oh, I'm just so excited.)
7:14am I am an awesome mother.
There is just no other way to explain it.
Derek gave Spencer goldfish and and old, flat orange soda for breakfast. I did absolutely nothing to stop it.
7:16am I am cleaning the house crazily before visiting teachers get here.
8:20am Leaving Oliver on the couch, to take a quick shower, hoping he doesn't fall off...
9:25am Just told Henry that under no circumstances is he to "show his dinosaur underwear to his friends" when they come play. We compromised that he can TALK about them, but not show them.
10:15am Visiting teachers just left. They think I'm weird.
10:18am Talked on the phone with Maren for two minutes. She's still preggo.
11:00am Need to get lunch going. Too busy tweeting.
11:34am Putting Spencer down for a nap, hoping O stays asleep.
11:35 O just woke up. Dang.
12:17pm Rereading New Moon while I rock O. Skipping any parts without Edward.
1:38 Derek just breezed in, asking where his work "badge" was. I have no clue. Still rocking the baby.
1:42pm I finally admit I didn't know Derek HAD a work badge. Not sure I've ever laid eyes on it. Derek leaves in a frenzy.
2:45pm Read most of New Moon during naps.
2:54pm Oliver won't let me put him down.
3:22pm Henry just whacked himself in the head with a PVC pipe. Awesome.
4:01pm Spencer just flooded the kitchen while filling up his cup from the fridge water spout, despite me saying, "STOP STOP STOP" whilst rocking Oliver.
4:27pm Just finished reading New Moon again. Oliver still needing to be held.
4:29pm Talking on the phone with my sister Sarah. She's having a craptastic day.
5:01pm Setting up "Don't break the ice" takes at least 10x longer than playing it. Stupid game.
5:55pm Henry is having a meltdown because I refused to take him to McDonalds for dinner.
6:02pm Henry gave up and agreed to eat an old cheeseburger I found in the fridge. Spencer is having Honey Nut Cheerios.
6:18pm Derek just got home.
7:00pm Medium cones from Dairy Queen are too big.
7:10pm Oliver hates me.
7:28pm Good night babies.
7:32pm Did I mention Oliver hates me?
8:00pm Harrassing Derek about his dissertation.
9:03pm Still wishing Oliver would go to sleep.
9:55pm Just realized we've had two Redbox movies since Saturday.
10:04pm Found Derek's lunch in the microwave. I totally forgot I put that in there while he was home for 4 minutes earlier today.
And that is why I don't and will never tweet. My life is SO interesting, how would I ever STOP commentating on my own life long enough to live it? Good Heavens. Vicious Cycle people.