Thursday, February 12, 2009

Pathetic.

I woke up angry today.

Really, really angry.

My poor kids. It was SO not their fault. It is my own stupid fault for going to bed too late the night before and choosing to get upset when my 18 month old woke up at 5:30. The SAME time he has woken up for, oh, I dunno FOREVER!

I was angry/frustrated/grumpy ALL day. My poor kids. Henry DARED to ask to play with playdough, and I threatened to throw away ALL playdough if he asked again.

Partially to blame for my frustration was trying to keep a house clean ALL DAY LONG because of the big "INSPECTION" which, by the way, NEVER happened. They did not come. Ever.

So, I spent all day trying to keep the house spotless whilst waiting for Management to show up, which we all know is near impossible with two active boys.

So, when Spencer started screaming at 4:59 pm out of pure starvation, I made peanut butter and jelly, and cried.

Seriously, I was feeling really quite sorry for myself.

And then, I realized, I should be feeling sorry for my babies. They had to put up with a grumpy, crabby, witchy mom ALL DAY LONG.

Then, I realized it was the end of the day and too late to even salvage what was left. So, I cried some more.

Then, my little ones went off and read themselves library books because they knew they'd better not dare ask ME, for fear I'd throw them all away.

Finally, I repented my actions, prayed for forgiveness and went to grovel before my little men. I read them books and tucked them into bed.

I hope that this day is NOT one that they ever, ever remember because I was appalling.

And now, I am vowing to NOT blame my kids for being kids. It's not their fault!

Gosh, some days, I swear, who let me have children???

5 comments:

Kara said...

Morgan, I'm so glad that you sometimes have days like me, and that I'm not the only mom that is like this sometimes. Lol. I wonder the same things as you, how did someone actually give me children!?! Isn't awesome that kids are generally forgiving and loving and that we can wake up tomorrow and try again? Awesome!

Jauna said...

Hey sounds like i should have come out to the playground with you.. our day was JUST as nice as yours. David never did clean his room Tod did when he got home at like 6. And I was a complete and total grump too. I think we've been stuck inside TOO long. And I cant believe management never showed up, did it say they were checking EVERY apartment or it would be random ones? That just means it will take longer to get to ours. Anyway,if you guys are leaving what time tomorrow, I want to run over and get that list from you.

Alisa and Jared said...

Ditto.

Chelsea said...

Of the many, many, people I know, you and your husband are 2 whose parenthood I support the most. I'm glad that 2 people as intelligent, loving, creative and kind as you are plan on having baby after baby after baby because you're the kind that SHOULD raise children. Let me point out the addict parents, the parents who abandon or neglect, the parents who abuse, the parents who take their children to Wal Mart at 3AM when they should be in bed, asleep like the cherubs they are. Having a grumpy day sucks, I know, but the fact that you have remorse for it is what makes you a good mom
. Most parents would blame the kids and get up grumpy again tomorrow before giving their little ones (even though we know it's mom/dad's fault, not theirs).

Chin up. You're the best mom EVER!

Roxi and Ephraim's Family said...

I am feeling like Chelsea (above). You are a fabulous mama, Morgan! At least you still feel bad for yelling at your children! I have become numb to the whole motherhood experience! Ha. Ha. I guess these words are not comforting. I wish I could hug you! Mmmm, let's see...let me know if you want my advice... (I am trying not to give advice away without people asking me). I love to give advice! I hope you have a better week, Morgan! You are such a sweetie! Kids are so hard! I know for sure, motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever ever ever done! Sucks! But I still wouldn't trade it for anything! I really love you Morgan!

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