On this our tenth wedding anniversary, I am going to share some of my thoughts that have made a difference in my mind as a husband and father.
As a Marriage Therapist I often find myself sitting with a couple picturing myself as Bob Newhart in the Mad TV sketch telling them to “STOP IT!” This I do not do (although I at times do have a Dr. Phil moment, but that is for another time). When I reflect on my own marriage those two simple words help me to change course when I am going the wrong way.
Let me help you apply these two words to your lives.
Say you think your spouse should be perfect, well, STOP IT, no one is perfect, especially not you with your attitude thinking others should be perfect, wow you are so conceited and just a jerk. STOP IT!
What about when you get angry just because you are not having a good day? Instead of taking it out on your spouse you should, STOP IT. Do not let your feeling angry ruin not only your day, but your spouse’s too, STOP IT.
Say you believe your significant other should do something for you without your asking for help, well, STOP IT, your significant other can’t read minds, can they? And do you really want them to be able to read your mind, I mean if Morgan could read mine she would… well… umm… err… we don’t go there.
If you and your spouse are having a disagreement, STOP IT. Do not fight, I mean you don’t want to have negative feelings toward your best friend do you? That would just be horrible. STOP IT.
What about where you have something you do not want to share with your spouse because you did something stupid and so you have a desire to hide it. STOP IT. You don’t want to have your spouse not trust you. That would just be dumb, don’t lie and hide truth, STOP IT.
Then if you do these things and your marriage is in the toilet don’t be surprised if your spouse looks at you one day and says, “STOP IT OR I WILL BURY YOU ALIVE IN A BOX!”
So, the point is you must tell yourself to STOP IT, when your bad habits, personality issues, or stupidity start to get the better of you. Instead, choose to go the opposite way.
In all seriousness, though, I am very blessed in my marriage. Morgan is the most intelligent, beautiful, kind, caring and giving person. My marriage is awesome because my partner is awesome. And we are partners, complete partners.