Thursday, May 23, 2013

Parenting in the 21st Century

Yesterday was a doozy of a day.

And as I was showering off Mr. Potty-Trained-Unless-I'm-Playing-Way-Far-From-the-House-and-Don't-Wanna-Walk-Up-the-Hill for the second time yesterday, tears were stinging in my eyes, and I was frustrated.

I was frustrated because at the exact moment that I was hosing Ezra off, Spencer was sobbing in his room, and Henry was burying a newt that had been killed by our chickens. Miriam was blessedly asleep and Oliver was (as Oliver does) observing.

And I had yelled and yelled.

"Goodness, I suck at this," I thought as I wondered what to say to the child that  had accidentally let the little wild newt into the chicken run, despite my insistence that they NOT let the lizard get close to the chickens.

I just didn't know.

I never know.

I feel like the minute I get it figured out, they go and do things I couldn't predict, therefore couldn't prepare for.

And if you ask this parenting expert or that parenting expert, then each and every situation calls for exactly the same response, ad nauseum.


THIS parenting expert wants you to remember that clear and consistent expectations are key.

THAT parenting expert wants you to remember that children just free spirits and they simply need your love. If you LOVE them enough they'll behave.

Don't forget those guys over there that think you ought to have charts and star stickers and...and...and...


You will.

But don't worry because they get big and go to school (except when they don't), and it gets easier.

And for goodness sake Mama, make sure to take some time for self-care because Mama can't function if her well is empty.


But if you aren't strict, and you don't enforce your rules, your children will grow up to be drug dealers.

And don't pick up that baby who is crying because then she learns that is how to get what she wants.

Children can't possibly manipulate you that way. They are just self-centered.

Send your children outside, let them be free.

Except, when they need to be learning responsibility. Then they need to be doing more chores.

Are those grapes organic?

The beauty of parenting in the 21st century is that you are never alone. If you have a problem, just ask the Google and 31,356 people have answers or have experienced exactly what you are going through.

The ugly of parenting in the 21st century is that you are never alone. If you have a problem, just ask the Google and 31,356 people have answers or have experienced exactly what you are going through.

Our parents just parented the way their parents parented. For better or for worse, there wasn't google. Sometimes I feel badly that my mom didn't have an army of other moms to cyber-connect with when she was troubled.

And other times, I wish it would all just stop.

Yesterday, I didn't need an army.

Some days I do. And in those situations, I'm grateful for a huge vast world of information, and the intelligence to discern what my children need in our unique situation.

But yesterday...

Yesterday, I just said a prayer.

That was the right thing to do.

I'm going to just go with that more often. I pray a lot. I do. And I'm just going to do it more.

Yup. Screw all the parenting experts and the newest internet craze (Thank you Orange Rhino for making me feel like shiz every time I raise my voice.)

I'm just going to say a prayer.

*all photo sources can be found off my pinterest page here*.


LeeAnn said...

I have never commented, but I needed this today. Thank you! I find more often times than not, that I raise my voice when I shouldn't. Instead of being irritated at them, I need to breathe and pray. He will always be by our side.

Morgan Hagey said...

LeeAnn, thanks so much for the comment! :)

And you're right. Breathing and praying: My new mantra!

gonzalesnine said...

Morgan I miss you and your wisdom is awesome.

Jen said...

I love it Morgan! Brought tears to my eyes.

Nathaly Blalock said...

Teared up. Perfection. Today I'm glad for the cyber connection so I could read this. :) Hugs!

Master P said...

THIS. YES. ALL OF THIS. You described my inner monologue perfectly! Fourteen gold stars, Morgan!

Kara @ Simplistically Sassy said...

Dale and I taught Marriage and Family Relations in Sunday School for years and that first quote about yelling is in that manual. I was thinking about it the other day and didn't even know what to think about it, or maybe about me. I sure loved this post. A lot. It's perfect. Thanks for sharing. I think you're totally right. I sure think you're super great too.

Morgan Hagey said...

Kara, you know, I think that quote is a wonderful goal... or maybe an aspiration is the right word. Some people are NOT yellers so it's just not an issue. Other people (like me) strive everyday to NOT yell, to choose a different reaction. Everyone has their own struggles. Mine is not thinking the house is burning down over every little thing.

Kent said...

Oh sweetie ! There were many days I yelled, cried and prayed. Instead of google we had parenting books ad nauseam, and the "random sampler" in the ensign making me feel like the worst mom ever. But you all made it, are not drug dealers and grew up to be excellent adults in spite of my lousy efforts. And BTW we didn't parent the way our parents parented, because we worked hard at sparing the rod....never believing for a minute that doing so would spoil the child. We all have days when mothering is the worst job ever.but for every lousy day, there is one minute somewhere when that little voice reminds you it is the hardest, most important job in the world. I love you and am proud of you.

Michele Johnson said...

Oh! Someone else has days like mine?!?!

Meredith said...

I just wrote a very similar post! I struggle with yelling too. You are not alone!

Erika Loveland said...

Found your blog from MMB. Good points in here! Especially liked the 'are these grapes organic?' line slipped in. I just posted something similar - prayers make it so we can endure!

Morgan Hagey said...

Hi Erika! Yes, I think prayers are a life raft for a mother. Welcome to the blog! :)

Morgan Hagey said...

Michele and Meredith- It sure is nice to know we're NOT alone in the world of mothering. :)

Susan Case said...

GREAT post! Love it. I'm following you from MMB Contributors.

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