Wednesday, March 20, 2013

In Which I Yell...

Dear World:

A foot A FOOT on March 19th. This is so deeply offensive.

THEN add to that a dead (and I mean DEAD) snow blower.

What does that mean?

(If you guessed, "I guess that means you had to shovel the driveway", then you could not be more WRONG.)

It means I'll be going nowhere until the darn snow melts. MELTS I say.

(Shovel? I'm sorry, I don't understand that. Come visit. See my driveway, THEN talk to me about shoveling.)

Then this morning, I was TRYING TO BE A NICE PERSON, so I betook myself (and the dog) outside at 6-frickin'-am to do his business, and clean off Derek's car. (BECAUSE I'M A NICE PERSON!) And I fell down ALL the stairs. (THERE ARE 8 OF THEM). Now, there is a strange numbness in a portion of my back.

I did not clean off Derek's car. I HAVE MY LIMITS.

And this darn winter is PUSHING THEM WAY BEYOND MY HAPPINESS.

I did not intend, when I came here today to gritch about the weather. BUT APPARENTLY THAT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING.

EVERYONE has a runny nose again. AGAIN. What is this, JANUARY?

Can someone please tell me, if it is possible for a two-year-old to poop in his SLEEP, because I declare that is what is happening. I thought you had to be awake to do so, but he is proving otherwise. EVERY SINGLE MORNING, Derek or I rush in there to catch him as he is waking to get him to the potty in time and EVERY SINGLE MORNING he is greatly distressed because he has ALREADY DONE HIS BUSINESS.

Pull-ups are NOT designed for that much BUSINESS if you know what I mean.

ALSO, the toddler and preschooler gave up naps last week AT THE SAME TIME. This is so rude I can not even explain it. BOTH OF YOU??? AT THE SAME TIME??

I want a vacay to somewhere warm and poo-free.

Love,
Morgan

8 comments:

Sara Thomas said...

Your Blog made me laugh this morning as I am up with Harrison at 5. Gunnar still sleeps, yet Harrison has not learned when it is acceptable to wake up.

Brian and Kelsey said...

Come see me! Snow and poop free! Maybe you should institute "quiet time" each day. I saw this article on activities and how to train your toddler to do it...it seemed like a good idea. But maybe not.

Morgan Hagey said...

I'm so glad, Sara. I read it through and it made everything seem LESS awful, ya know?

Morgan Hagey said...

Kelsey, brilliant. Except they break into each others rooms and draw all over the wall with sidewalk chalk. (TRUE STORY) I can't trust them.

Master P said...

Dude, that would make me howl!! I am so sick of this winter I can hardly see straight, and I don't even have a night pooper as well. Gaaahhhhhhhhh. Hold in there, it HAS to end as some point, right????

Master P said...

Dude, that would make me howl!! I am so sick of this winter I can hardly see straight, and I don't even have a night pooper as well. Gaaahhhhhhhhh. Hold in there, it HAS to end as some point, right????

Jauna said...

Come visit me, run fast! it's shorts weather here. No snow in sight! And you can hate me but most days Gracie will still nap, she's not add much Assad she wad, slowly giving them up. Yes my 5 yr old will still nap

Nathaly Blalock said...

Hugs, Morgs. Diego used to poop in his sleep ALL THE TIME. That was when the Awful-Poop-Finger-Paint-Incident of 2008 happened.

And at least one person in my house has had a runny nose since January. Camila woke up snotty again today. She JUST got over it like a week ago. When. will. it. stop?

I hope your back feels better!!

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