When I was in fourth grade, the gym teacher decided that telling us all our body fat percentage was a BRILLIANT idea. (What an IDIOT that man was... I wonder if he's still alive...)
When yours is the 31% and your good friend Ginger's is 19% (can you believe I remember my own AND her's?), it literally shatters your life.
I was fat. I knew it.
(Except I wasn't...)
And thus, as a nine-year-old girl it began.
In 7th grade, puberty was a real BI-OTCH. Seriously. And I was in dance classes that required SPANDEX. Oh my gosh. I was FAT! And the spandex only proved it!
(Except I wasn't...)
Up and down, round and round, I am now 27 years old and I am fat. 18 years of being fat. Sigh.
Except, am I?
I have LITERALLY no idea.
I do know that I have four children, endless stretch marks, and soft-around-the-middle depression.
And thus continues my love affair with my own vanity.
It's RIDICULOUS.
What I do know for sure is that it actually doesn't matter what is REAL. All that matters is one's perception of it all.
Since I firmly perceive there to be a gross over-amount of ME, enter Weight Watchers Online (it's not a diet...) and a lot of fruit and veggies, oh and P90X. Oh yes.
See? It doesn't matter if I'm fat or not because pretty soon, regardless, there will be less of me.
Just in time to get knocked up again.
This plan is absolutely fool-proof.
8 comments:
Ohhhhhh, I love you Morgan Hagey!!!
p.s. I want your old P.E. teacher's name so I can hunt him down and say unkind things to him.
p.s.s. Not that it matters, but YOU'RE NOT FAT!!!
Fat. No. Not you. You can fit in the same size pants I can can't you? It is brilliant, isn't it? Oh and you are only a bit over one month from having your last baby. Hello. But I am glad you are conscious and real that indeed, being pregnant does add some pounds and are now getting to P90X. The guy who leads those would be my boyfriend if he knew me by the way! Enjoy the life change. :) Read Marion's blog...Monday made me laugh...no lies, she ate that much! Love it!
Oh baby, think of genetics. Think of all your short, sort of round grandmas and great grandmas (not to mention your ma!) You are not, nor are you ever, fat.
And you did not mention that 4+ pregnancies in 5 years....
Healthy is what you are aiming for.
Ma
Lori- His name was Mr. Johnson.
Alice- I actually did check it today after the certificate-giving.
Mom- Yes, it's true.
Too funny.
Good luck.
Morgan, I'm chiming in with everyone else: you're beautiful! It's amazing how the little things that are said when we are small can make such a difference to us the rest of our lives. Though I'm sure well-meaning, your p.e. teacher and my mother who made comments when I passed 100 lbs and then later grew out of a size 2...it hurts. And this gal is right there with you. I feel like if I get back to my skinny jeans...I too will immediately get prego. I even told the designer that last week. He didn't have any response...cause it's true! :) luv everything you write on mmb...I look forward to it, and thx for your comment today. much luv, katrina
Oh, thanks for the love Katrina. I appreciate it! And ditto on your MMB writings. Thanks!
Bek- THANKS! I'm cautiously optimistic. I've had WW success before, so we'll see after four babies if it is still going to work.
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