Derek and I are considering getting a dog.
Meh. That's a lie.
We ARE getting a dog.
I know. It is a TERRIBLE idea. A HORRIBLE idea.
But we're gonna do it anyway.
Here's the story:
My sister has a basset hound. She's menopausal (the dog, not my sister...). My sister also has a 9 month old Labrador retriever.
Well, her menopausal basset hound and her pubescent lab hooked up and my sister has found herself grandmother to eight very cute Bassador puppies. (Which is a fancy term for "mutt.")
When Sarah called to tell me the joyous news, she asked off hand "Do you want one?"
To which I replied," Probably, let me ask Derek."
WHAT????? Why? Why would I say such a STUPID, RIDICULOUS, STUPID thing?
I don't know why either.
So, I called Derek and told him the whole story. My sweet, fantastic husband was supposed to say, "Morgan, NO! A thousand times NO!"
But he said, "Tell her to pick out the cutest one for us."
WHAT????? Why? Why would he say such a RIDICULOUS thing???????
So, I called Sarah back and told her just that.
Now, let's be clear. I.do.not.want.a.puppy. Puppies chew and whiz on everything. They have sharp little baby claws and even sharper little baby teeth. They get hair on everything.
I don't want a puppy.
But I do want a dog. A lot. Dogs are awesome.
But puppies. Ick, puppies.
I asked Sarah to PLEASE keep one of the cute little fur balls for about a year and half and train it up real nice for me, and drop it off in 18 months.
She said no.
So, I'm stuck. Luckily, puppies grow up.
And I have the Dog Whisperer's book on hold at the library. I am NOT going into this blindly.
I already know I'm an idiot, but I am not going to be a clueless idiot. I will have a well-behaved, potty/crate trained dog as soon as humanly possible, (doggily possible).
Oh, I'm so so so sad. Why are we doing this? It's just the worst idea we've ever had. We're going to anyway.
And Derek says I absolutely can not name a midget black labrador Webster.
That is really the worst part of all of it.
Oh my holy heck.