Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The pain called life.

Lately, many of my friends in real life and internet-ly are posting things on their blogs about death; the passing of loved ones, or just of people they knew. It's all over the place. I heard a story that I will not scare you with here, but it was awful. Trust me.

It has made me think.

Life is scary sometimes. Life is short sometimes. Car crashes jump out without warning (wanna see the side of minivan for proof? Yesterday sucked.) Cancer strikes to people you would never think would get it. Miscarriages, loss of children.

Death is everywhere.

And as I watch my sweet babies grow and change daily, I acutely feel the pain of each day bringing me closer to college, missions, marriage, etc. But at the same time, how I pray that they reach all those milestones. I want them to be men, fathers, grandfathers. But sometimes (more often than it should) I feel the fear of the world creeping, closing in around the edges. "What ifs" haunt me.

I think of the "close calls" my children have had in their short lives.

Henry tumbling down 17 cement steps when he was a toddler.

Me, turning my back for literally 10 seconds at the pool, and Spencer nearly drowning this summer.

Yesterday, a car crash that could have been so so so much worse.

I have to remember, when the fear of "what if" starts a'callin' to have faith:

Faith that angels surround my children.
Faith that when I can no more for them, that all will be well anyway.
Faith that they are strong.
Faith that I will get to watch them grow to be the warriors I know they must be.

 We, as parents, have a great and very grave responsiblity to rear and teach our children. But, we have to have faith that no matter what, a loving Heavenly Father watches over them. They are HIS, first and foremost. Our role is "merely custodial". We are just doing His work.

And I'm so grateful that I know that where there is faith there can be no fear. I have to work hard to replace my fear with faith. When I start seeing the shadow of fear and the darkness of doubt, I have to beat it back. I try to banish it, to send it away. Sometimes I fail, but then I return to my knees, to plead for it.

Where there is faith there is no fear. Where there is faith there is no fear. Where there is faith, there is no fear.

I just have to remember that.... and be thankful. Everyone is all right.

Happy Day. All is well.

From Oct pumpkins 2009


Melissa said...

I've heard of several and known a couple of the people who have died over the last couple months. Why does it seem like these things happen in waves? It's creepy how many people seem to have died within such a short time.

Faith! What a wonderful message.

Mandy and Chris said...

Morgan... what a great message I really needed to hear! I've had so many worries already about my baby - it's good to have things in perspective and be reminded who's really in charge! Thanks!

Lisa B said...

Thank you for posting that, Morgan. It's something I really needed to hear today.

Amber C said...

Will you be getting a rental while your van is in the shop getting repaired? Did you have to buy all new car seats for the boys? I'm glad you are all safe and happy. Don't fret about the worries, they come up and then we can pray them away. We love you guys...all the way from NC.

Jen said...

I'm glad you are all ok! We need this reminder in our house right now! Thanks for sharing your sweet message!

BrandonandJeana said...

Morgan, you need to write a book, and I'm so so very serious. I will buy your first one. Your words bring me to tears and your outlook on mothering, doula-ing, and life in general is totally amazing to me. I love you so much. Now get writing that book!


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