It has made me think.
Life is scary sometimes. Life is short sometimes. Car crashes jump out without warning (wanna see the side of minivan for proof? Yesterday sucked.) Cancer strikes to people you would never think would get it. Miscarriages, loss of children.
Death is everywhere.
And as I watch my sweet babies grow and change daily, I acutely feel the pain of each day bringing me closer to college, missions, marriage, etc. But at the same time, how I pray that they reach all those milestones. I want them to be men, fathers, grandfathers. But sometimes (more often than it should) I feel the fear of the world creeping, closing in around the edges. "What ifs" haunt me.
I think of the "close calls" my children have had in their short lives.
Henry tumbling down 17 cement steps when he was a toddler.
Me, turning my back for literally 10 seconds at the pool, and Spencer nearly drowning this summer.
Yesterday, a car crash that could have been so so so much worse.
I have to remember, when the fear of "what if" starts a'callin' to have faith:
Faith that angels surround my children.
Faith that when I can no more for them, that all will be well anyway.
Faith that they are strong.
Faith that I will get to watch them grow to be the warriors I know they must be.
We, as parents, have a great and very grave responsiblity to rear and teach our children. But, we have to have faith that no matter what, a loving Heavenly Father watches over them. They are HIS, first and foremost. Our role is "merely custodial". We are just doing His work.
And I'm so grateful that I know that where there is faith there can be no fear. I have to work hard to replace my fear with faith. When I start seeing the shadow of fear and the darkness of doubt, I have to beat it back. I try to banish it, to send it away. Sometimes I fail, but then I return to my knees, to plead for it.
Where there is faith there is no fear. Where there is faith there is no fear. Where there is faith, there is no fear.
I just have to remember that.... and be thankful. Everyone is all right.
Happy Day. All is well.
|From Oct pumpkins 2009|