Ever wake up and suddenly realize you're living in a teeming cesspool of filth?
All right, just me then?
In my defense, my house isn't actually, "dirty" ever. It's "clean" and all. But, this morning, I awoke, and it seemed as though I was in a Clorox commercial. You know the ones where they show the germs all over everything. It looks clean, but in reality Clorox wants you to know that it's not.
Well, I could SEE all the germs all over everything. Just like the commercials. I had, in the night, been endowed with a super power.
So, while Spencer ate his honeycombs cereal, I contemplated whether to use my super power for good or for evil. Evil would mean, laying about and not doing a thing all day. Good would mean actually having to work.
Finally, I decided to use my super sight for good. So, I got to work. Bathrooms first! Clorox came out, and things got clean. Except my tubs, because I didn't have a magic eraser, and those babies are the only things that clean the weird textured tubs.
By the time Derek was up, I had two bathrooms cleaned. Derek, whilst riding happily away on Minnie asked, "Are you in a cleaning mood?"
Clearly, he did not have the super sight.
"NO!" I replied. "The bathroom smelled like urine." He, wisely, said nothing else and returned to his biking and watching of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
I had to take a break to go get magic erasers, because what is a super hero without magic erasers? It's all good, I went as my alter ego, Mommy, and was able to move about unrecognized.
Suffice it to say, my super power carried me through the day, cleaning, scrubbing, laundering, dusting, vacuuming, and dejunking. At one point, I looked at Derek whilst scrubbing snot out of the couch and said, "Being a super hero is hard work!"
And he nodded kindly, hiding any confusion he may have felt and left for work.
I was forced to take breaks for things like feeding children and reading books, etc. But still, I was a super hero.
And now, I hurt. And I am kind of hoping that I am back to normal tomorrow. Because, like I said, being a super hero is hard work.