Thursday, February 26, 2009

A bone-chilling tale

So, like a year ago (okay, it wasn't "like" a year ago, it was a year ago, almost exactly) I got Derek visits with the chiropractor for Valentine's Day. He's dealt with lots of issues since we got married. So, I thought, "Awww, how romantic! Chiro visits."

And it was good! He liked it, it seemed to help with the pain, they got him all aligned, FABULOUS! So, Derek went six or so times and then went to once-a-month checks. And finally, several months after starting with the chiro, he went to an eight-week check.

And he came home. With a perfectly straight face, when asked by me, "How was the appointment?" answered, "My colon is in spasm."

I gasped. "What does that mean? How? HOW did this happen?"

Derek just shook his head sadly.

"He was so close, he just went one too far, huh?" I asked.

"Yup. I'm done with the chiropractor." He answered.

And that was that. No one in our home has visited one since.

Until today.

And when I got home from my appointment, my dear sweet husband asked, "Is your colon in spasm?"

I replied, "No, and if he'd tried to tell me it was, I'd have punched him in the face."

So, I went, and it was fine. Weird, but fine. See, I'm all about holistic, natural remedies, right? I totally believe we as a society as FAR too medicated for FAR too much. I mean, come on, Cialis for daily use??? But, still. I have a hard time knowing how much to buy into chiropractic-ness.

I mean, my back kills, so if the dude can fix that, then bring it on! And fine, I get that spines have nerves which lead to EVERY major organ, blah blah blah, but how in the heck can looking at my nakie back tell someone that my colon is out of whack?

See my problem?

Plus, I do not like it when ANYONE tells me that Diet Coke is poison to my body. DUH! But it tastes so good!

And the good doctor knows I'm a doula, and informed me that I need to practice what I preach to my clients.

I don't think he liked it when I said, "I'm on hiatus, I'm not preaching to ANYONE right now."

HA! Take that!

So, I'll go back on Tuesday, because we've got to get this baby moved, but I'm not yet a believer yet... besides, he's too expensive. ;)


Chelsea said...

I've got to disagree on this one. Me? I love my chiropractor. He's even putting John & I on a family plan where if we come in together, we get about 25% off!

I've never had him make a problem worse or create new problems where there weren't any. I don't know what I'll do when I decide to move out of the state and have to find a new chiro.

I haven't been to see him in a couple of months because I'm so freakin' broke, but otherwise I would be in there every other week.

Morgan and Derek said...

Don't get me wrong, he didn't make anything worse, at least not that I can tell. I'm just not 100% sold on 100% of what they ascribe to... make sense?

If this baby flips, heck, he can tell me my colon is in spasm. That is FINE with me. :)

Kate said...

When we were managing the apartments, we had an employee who nearly cut his finger off with a circular saw. And by "nearly cut his finger off," I don't mean his finger got close to the blade, but he pulled it away just in time--I mean that the top of his finger was barely hanging on. We were freaking out and telling him he needed to go to the ER (or at the very least, the worker's comp clinic) and that he'd be covered by insurance. He never went. Wanna know why? Because his chiropractor father told him he didn't need to go.

That said, a chiro totally fixed my back a couple years ago. I stopped going, however, when even though it felt better, I was encouraged to come in 3 times a week for visits instead of practicing strength exercises.

Morgan and Derek said...

Kate- see? That is what I mean. Where do we draw the line? Hmm....

Chelsea said...

I've never heard of a chiro that told you to come in for visits *instead* of doing exercises. That's a pretty blatant rip off. Maybe it's more about finding the right one. I know my mom and I go in once a month when we're doing well, twice a month when things are a little off, weekly when there's a minor issue and about every 3 days or so if there's a real injury. After he weans us off the visits (which has always been prompt and reasonable) he'll give us stretches/exercises/workouts we can do during the week or two that we aren't coming in for adjustments. He's even fixed some of John's more chronic issues.

I'll stop plugging my chiro now, but really, he's wonderful. hahaha

McEuens said...

I'll buy into the chiro "cures" where there's some evidence to support it, so I definitely buy into the success of the Webster Technique (though I don't believe there are any rigorous studies supporting its effectiveness, there is still a decent amount of evidence) and I buy into chiros generally being able to help with back/spine problems. Beyond that, I am a non-believer until someone presents me with some hard evidence.

I think there's a chance that chiros can do some of the other things they say they can do, but I definitely don't believe all of it. So I saw a chiro to get Caleb to flip head-down, and she was great, but when she told me to bring my newborn in to have adjustments done that would help with various newborn ills, I declined to do so, even though there was a logical basis for her claims.

I would go back if I had a breach baby again. I would go for spinal/back problems. If I or one of my kids was dealing with an issue that we had been unable to solve or improve in any other way and there was some logical basis for believing that a chiro could help, I might go back for that too, since the risk would be minimal.

Mostly, though, I wish someone would do a bunch of rigorous, double-blind, controlled studies to either support or debunk chiro's claims. Sorry so long, but you know I can't help myself....

Becky said...

My husband is a big fan of chiropractors, but I'm not sure I can convert. Oh, well!

Hope he can help with the baby twisting.

Alisa and Jared said...

I have a chiro horror story (at least for a pre-teen)...but it has nothing to do with the chiro's services...and much more to do with...well...nevermind. :-)

Hope it works!!

BloggingBills said...

We're not entirely sold on the chiropractor idea either. Especially the 'no inoculations' no medicine, no doctor visits kind. Maybe to help with 'adjustments' when your back is out of whack....but otherwise.

Not a believer.

Jen said...

I hope you're getting that baby to turn!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...