Friday, January 16, 2009

Fear of Numb3rs

So, there is this show on Friday nights. It's called Numb3rs. It has the kid who played Bernard the Elf from The Santa Claus, who is now a math whiz,and the doctor from Northern Exposure, who is now an FBI agent. They are brothers.

Derek, my husband, LOVES this show. It's one of his favorites.

Me? I'm more of a Ghost Whisperer fan. You know, Touched By an Angel, with a younger, prettier star, who talks to the dead, and instead of telling them that "God loves them" in a charming Irish accent, she tells them to go "into the light".... but I digress.

So, every Friday or Saturday, depending on our TIVO schedule, we settle in to watch Numb3rs *yes, it's spelled with a '3'*.

And, the FBI has some horrible crime to solve and Dr. Northern Exposure asks Bernard the Elf to use his math genius to solve the case.

And, so, Bernard goes, "Oh, I'll just use a Quantum Leap Equation to solve the problem."

And then, all the actors playing FBI agents, stop acting and start looking clueless.

THEN, the genius decides to explain in "layman's terms." So, he'll say something like this, "Take, for instance, polar bears, and their migratory mating habits...."

Suddenly, everyone understands, and next thing you know, Bernard has solved the crime by using a little something that looks like this:

p=a*exp(-x^2/2)+b*P(Z>x)

and scribbling math all over a clear dry erase board.

And viola! The doc from Northern Exposure is a hero.

It's DUMB!

Now, part of my distain stems from a learning disability that makes math IMPOSSIBLE for me to understand. I'm not joking. I try, and I can not. It doesn't work. So, I find it offensive that MATH is on primetime tv.

And the other part comes from the fact, that I am irritated by the fact that I don't get it.

It's embarrassing. I have no idea what they are talking about. I realize that MOST people do not. But, my prob is I don't even understand how the "layman's" explanation that Bernard gives applies at all. I DON'T GET IT.

So, instead, I ignore the math part and just pay attention to the story line.

Or, I just blog surf. Either way, we're spending lovely-couple-quality-time together.

And our marriage is stronger for it.

6 comments:

Carly said...

lol Morgs I can relate in couple ways to this post. That guy will forever be Bernard to me as well. He will always be Santa's Elf and I cannot think of him otherwise.

I cannot understand Math either. I have math dyslexia.

Manda said...

I always think of him as the elf too! So funny. Jon really likes numb3rs too, weird. Oh, I'm also insanely jealous that Henry is potty trained. I ordered that book from the library, but I'm afraid nothing will get Katie to poop on the potty.

The Wolford Family said...

Well very funny blog but also I think it's highly offensive that you let that smut into your house!!! HA HA HA!!!

Roxi and Ephraim's Family said...

I don't get it either.

Chelsea said...

You should call me during Numb3rs, Morgs, since I'm fairly certain I've got the same disorder and get just as frustrated. We can chat about the snow here and the lack of snow there and the boys and theater stuff and just yak away until the show is over. At least I understand yakking.

Morgan Hagey said...

Chels- I would, but it's not on until 10pm here, which is midnight your time... Sad. Unless, of course we're watching it TIVO'd.

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