Those mothers who tell off other people's children.
Now, let me just qualify this statement. I do not walk up to children I don't know and inform them, out of the blue, that they are dumb or ugly or anything. No! Never. And in fact, I very RARELY tell off any kids that don't belong to me. Especially, ESPECIALLY if the parent is right there, witnessing the naughtiness.
BUT! When it's needed, I do it.
Today, we were at the playground right outside our house. Some neighbor kids were there too. Henry and Spencer came up, (Henry on his bike, Spencer on foot) and one of the neighbor kids is throwing wood chips. They were not aimed at my kids, and so I figure, whatever.
BUT THEN, one of the kids grabs a handful, walks up to Spencer, looks right at me, then him, I glare, and he CHUCKS them all in Spencer's face. WHAT THE HECK?
So, what did I do?
I said, "HEY! Don't you dare throw those at people anymore! He's just a baby."
(It should be noted that this boys was probably 4 years old... he knew better.)
So, the little punk looks at me and says (and I am not making this up) "Oops, sorry."
Oops?? OOPS? Like it was a freak accident. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
So, then, the bigger boys were trying "play" with Henry. They would chase him and shoot their pretend guns at him and he'd ride away on his trike as fast as he could, laughing. Henry WAS having fun.
UNTIL he got off his bike. Then one of the PUNKS hopped on his trike and starting riding away.
Excuse me? The kid just stole my three-year-old's bike. I'm sure he just wanted a ride, but you ASK before you take.
So, I said, NICELY, "Please don't take his bike..." He continued riding away.
I repeated, still nicely, "PLEASE don't take his bike." Again, I was ignored.
So, I said, NOT nicely, "HEY! OFF HIS BIKE, NOW!" And he climbed off.
It should be noted that at this point, the neighbor boys' father was outside his house, watching and smoking. NOT parenting.
Sigh.
THEN! (Oh, yes, there is more...)
The hoodlum children decided it would be fun to get in front of Henry as he is trying to ride his trike on the sidewalk. Everywhere he tried to ride, they'd block him. All the while, I'm trying to tell Henry, "Just say excuse me, they'll move!" hoping the little brats would get the hint. They did not. Poor Henry, just kept trying to get by, whimpering, "Excuse me, excuse me!" Poor dear.
So, I yelled, "MOVE IT! NOW!" And they did.
Then, I took my boys and went inside. I had had enough.
Little punks.
So, yes, I'm one of those moms, the embarrassing ones who wail on other people's children. Don't fear me though. If you PARENT your children, you have nothing to worry about. But, don't even think about letting them walk all over my kids, who are too little to express themselves.
And finally, it should be noted that I am an equal-opportunity-yeller. Henry chucked a handful of woodchips at one of the kids, (after he got pelted by one of the brats) and I told him off good too. Honestly, I was hoping that the useless father would see me parenting my OWN child and take note. Probably not though.
9 comments:
Morgan, I love you! I love the fact that you're so completely honest and I so need to learn from you. I'm one of the moms that just sits there while my kid gets bit, kicked, or beat up on and I'm too shy and "nice" to yell at the kids. I vow now to try to take a stand the next time someone is mean to my kids. I'll have to let you know how it goes. Thanks for your insightful, yet hilarious post.
Jeana- I love you too. And honestly, I can not stand up to people my own age. I only bully kids who are littler than me. :)
found you on mormon mommy blogs.
other people's kids are pretty frustrating. and i think that it is so ok to direct children when they need it- especially if their parent isn't stepping in.
good luck
Hey I parent other peoples kids and I don't even have kids of my own... Sounds like they needed it. And Dad probably doesn't care enough to get upset with you..
Morgan, thank God for parents like you who actually care about how their little ones behave. I have been so frustrated as a school employee, watching children bully each other like the children in your complex, but not being able to do much about it because the school districts are so paranoid about being sued. So anyway, thank you for yelling at that man's children, and thank you for taking the time to actually parent your children. I wish I could have had more kids like yours in my classes!
Morgan,
I am totally a mother that yells at other people's kids. The kids and I were at McDonald's once and Devin was running around in the indoor playplace. In the circle room where balls used to be, and aren't anymore, Devin was playing with two boys. All of a sudden these two boys started punching Devin and hitting him in the groin. I went over and yelled at them. I yelled good and they told me they were "just playing." I said, that is not playing that is hurting and they better not ever touch my child again. Well, I know their mothers had to have heard me, a few others were looking at me...BUT NOOOO, they were in the corner of the room together chatting it up while I was about to pop their kids one. They paid me no attention and their kids thing that beating another kids up like WWE or WWF is play. Shameful mothers! Hooray for mothers who have standards!
It's not like you're yelling at the kids for no reason--you're standing up for your own children who are unable to defend themselves. I mean, come on, Spencer really is still a baby in a lot of ways. It's absurd for a kid to throw things in his face. So I don't think you're in any way a bad person for doing that. If you were being cruel or physically responding to them that would be different, but I think you're on pretty safe ground here.
I, however, would be way too afraid to do it if the parent were around, because I'm a wimp and would be afraid of a confrontation, so I'd probably just leave. Maybe not, though. It's amazing what instincts come out when you're defending your child. I've already noticed it happening and she's still quite well protected inside of me.
My Aunt recently yelled at a kid at a school-bus stop while she was walking with her (18-year-old) daughter. The kid being yelled at first kicked AT his little sister (we're talking like 10 vs 5 or something) which was noted, but not chided. She didn't/couldn't defend herself--she was HALF his size at BEST. THEN Big Brother decided to punch and kick her repeatedly and rapidly. THAT is when Shelly yelled. The response? Big Brother said, "She's my sister!" Like it was a free pass to be violent if you've got a younger sibling. Shelly said, "I don't care! You're hurting her! Knock it off!"
That was kind of the gist of it.
Why are these kids standing at the corner alone? That's what I want to know.
So Boo
I totally yelled at a kid in the other first grade when we were at the planetarium. He was kicking the back of the seat in front of him and yelling, "You stink!" (to no one in particular.) The other first grade teacher was oblivious and the mom in whose group he'd been placed was totally ignoring him so of course Mrs. BIlls had to fix the problem. I went up and said something to the effect that he was NOT showing people how kids from our school behaved and in case no one had ever told him, kicking and screaming in a public place was not acceptable. And he'd better stop right now or the bus would be the only thing he'd see (no movie in the dome theater!).
He stopped. I walked away muttering, "Why don't parents teach their kids how to behave in public?" I hope the other mom heard it and passed it on! Most of the moms I know are passive parenters: if it can possibly be ignored then do it.
Another time: I told a first grader (not one of my own--but I'm on hall dute and he was chucking his backpack at a kid) to stop messing around and sit down.
He looked me in the eye and said, "No."
I said, "Excuse me?"
He repeated, "No."
At which point I sat him in his seat and told him the only thing I ever wanted to hear from his lips when I asked him to do something was 'Yes, Ma'am' and to stop being rude to an adult. I told him not to move until the bell rang.
He didn't.
I told Jess (the first grade teacher who has the priviledge of having him in her class and she said he tells her no all the time.)
About 10 minutes later in he comes to my room with a note apologizing for his behavior. (Jess had made him write it!)
Some people's kids!
So Boo, keep yelling. You'll save a teacher a lot of grief some day!
MA
Post a Comment