Sometimes you get THREE days into a new school year when you suddenly realize that you've made a terrible mistake.
Then you send out panicked texts to your husband, shoot off some emails, and three days later, you drop your three oldest kids of at your local elementary school.
I had been trying SO hard to make home schooling work. I completely changed our curriculum, made it all new and interesting.
I'd had niggling doubts for months. I just dismissed those doubts and pushed forward. I pushed. Much pushing.
But, Heavenly Father is wise. He knows I need very clear signs in order to not be stubborn.
So, He sent it, the sign I needed.
In the form of a soul-crushing revelation: I.can.not.do.this.
The baby was screaming, the school aged ones were arguing, the littles were begging for attention. Chaos. And I'm only one tiny person.
I know when I'm beat. And home schooling three at once with three others had me beat.
I quit. Right then. I was done. I kindly, gently let the kids know. Spencer cried. A lot. Henry was pretty sad, and Oliver, in true Oliver form, was thrilled.
Today was their first day. They came home happy. I guess that's a good start!
I'm not eternally linked to public school or home school. I always said I'd do what was best, even if that meant school. For now, that means school.
I thought I'd be heartbroken. I'm definitely sad. I love home school. But mostly, I'm relieved. It's going to be fine.